


Chasing the Sunset

by hibouxx



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Sexual Content, holiday romance, inspired by YJ's Otaru date, set in Japan, tour guide Yuta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22073533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hibouxx/pseuds/hibouxx
Summary: “Shall I give you some advice?” Yuta wiggled the flamingo pen to get Jaehyun’s attention, and once he had it, he gave a small, kind smile, “be spontaneous. One day at a time. But,” the Japanese man pulled the binder back to his side of the table, turning it on the page he wanted, before pushing it back towards Jaehyun, “you should go see Otaru. Perhaps at the end of your trip, but definitely don’t skip it.”
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 27
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said I was going to post a one shot for Christmas in my other work, but this ended up being too long for a oneshot, and didn't make it in time for the holidays too. Anyway, this might end up being 3 or 4 chapters long, I'm trying to finish everything while I have the inspiration for it, that's the only reason I haven't updated my abo YuJae fic yet.
> 
> This fic features a lot of tourist locations in Hokkaido, it would help you visualise each place by googling the names. Lastly, sorry for any mistakes, I haven't had the chance to edit this.
> 
> Anyway, here you go! Happy New Year everyone on the YuJae team! :)

If there was anything Jaehyun detested more than the horror of Christmas shopping, it would be Christmas parties, especially company organised ones, where you hardly had any choice in whether to attend or not. Even worse this year, their management decided to hold the party in one of the more spacious meeting rooms in the office, cramming all fifteen employees of their small startup company in a poorly ventilated, garishly decorated space (strobe lights? Tasteless) meant to replicate the dimly lit, overpriced bar restaurants in Gangnam.

He heard from a few people (mainly Johnny) that the management decided to cut down on the expenses for the party, instead, they’d be giving out something pretty extravagant as first prize in the lucky draw; something to commemorate the first time one of their titles outsold.

No one had any clue what the first prize was going to be, the organising team had been pretty tight-lipped about it. So when Jaehyun, in the middle of cringing at the aftertaste of cheap, watered down beer, was the last name to be called to the very front of the room where a makeshift platform had been set up in lieu of an actual stage, he had absolutely no idea what to expect. That was probably why his face had remained neutral, despite the loud cheers from his other coworkers.

Johnny and Mark, his closest friends at work that had been flanking his sides the entire evening, shared his sentiments about the beer, but not about the first prize of their most mysterious lucky draw to date. Both men excitedly pushed Jaehyun towards the platform, where he was handed a golden envelope. He had honestly been expecting something along the lines of a flat screen TV or the latest MacBook on the market.

Certainly not an all-expenses-paid 3-week long tour to Hokkaido, with a personal tour guide to boot. The young man, having only been in the company for over two years, and having zero luck with any kind of draws whatsoever, had gaped at the words printed in bold, and gaped even harder when he brushed his bangs to the side and reread the letter heading two more times just to make sure that his slightly tipsy mind wasn’t making him see things.

“Oh.” He gasped out, and he was sure he looked pretty ridiculous, in his neon green long-sleeves with a cheaply made paper crown on his head, gaping like a fish out of water in front of the entire company. He would've been a laughing stock, if not for the fact that everyone in the room was likely teeming with envy at the sudden turn of his luck.

—

That was how Jaehyun found himself bundled up in his warmest winter jacket in the middle of Sapporo’s busy, snow covered cityscape. The temperature by itself wasn’t too different from Seoul’s, the amount of snow, however, was another story altogether. Jaehyun had to buy a new pair of winter boots that were tall enough to cover nearly half of his legs (wet socks were a bummer). His years growing up in California certainly didn’t prepare him for this.

The atmosphere and the people, were also completely different from what Jaehyun was used to, and it was a pleasant kind of different.

Hokkaido people were generally more polite, and helpful than most people in Seoul. Jaehyun had only ever been to Japan once, and that was on a layover to America, where he often visited his parents after moving to Korea by himself. It was understandable that his Japanese was pretty much non-existent. However, the people he had encountered since he arrived had been more than happy to help him, despite his embarrassing pronunciation and elementary knowledge of the language.He wondered if perhaps the dimples were doing the trick; he’d learned from experience how much he could get away with if he just smiled a certain way.

Jaehyun of course, was happy that his luck hadn’t seemed to fail him yet, because he easily found the cafe where he was supposed to meet his personal tour guide, despite the overwhelming amount of kanji in the address he’d received by email. Not without help from the locals here and there, of course.

The place turned out to be a cat cafe, and had he done his research well before hand, he would’ve known. But because he was getting a personal guide to do all the hard work for him, he didn’t bother with the small details, which in hindsight, he should’ve.

The cafe was filled with people, mostly foreigners, which explained why the guide asked to meet here of all places; tourist favourite spots were always the easiest to find. Now Jaehyun felt a little less accomplished about singlehandedly locating the cafe.

The next challenge was to find his guide, supposedly a young man by the name of Nakamoto Yuta, spoke Korean, and should be carrying a little sign with Jaehyun’s name in Hangul on it. Jaehyun didn’t see anyone with any kind of sign, even after rounding the small space twice, and he was about to call the travel agency when he eventually found out why.

_‘Yuta'_ turned out to have been sidetracked by one of the older, bigger looking cats napping by the window, its belly being lovingly scratched by the person Jaehyun had just spent a good ten minutes searching for. And the only reason the Korean man even recognised him was the discarded sign that was lying a few inches away from where the man had been squatting by the cat.

“Nakamoto Yuta?” Jaehyun asked, unsure, when he was near enough to hear the man’s poor imitation of a cat’s mewl. Yuta, if Jaehyun didn’t get the wrong person, jumped at his voice, and swivelled so fast Jaehyun was worried he’d give himself a whiplash.

“Oh no, Jung Jaehyun?” finally sure that he was talking to the right person, Jaehyun visibly relaxed, while he saw panic set in those unnaturally big eyes, “I’m so sorry! I forgot! There wasn’t any available table when I came in so I stood by this window here, and then this cat, it started rubbing on my leg, and—“ Jaehyun was taken aback by how good this person’s Korean was, he’d been expecting someone who spoke basic conversational level, not completely fluent with nearly perfect pronunciation. Definitely better than Mark’s Korean, who’d been living in Seoul longer than Jaehyun. He eventually recovered enough from his awe to stop the man from his nervous rambling over petting a cat.

“Hey, it’s fine, no need to get worked up, it’s all good. I haven’t been waiting that long.”

“Oh thank god, I wouldn’t wanna be fired first thing in the new year.” This time, Yuta gave him a tentative smile, probably still testing the waters, probably still not completely convinced that Jaehyun was just letting his carelessness go, “I promise you, I’m not always like this. I know it’s not a great first impression, but thank you for giving me a chance anyway”.

“It’s really okay though, no harm done.” Jaehyun took this chance to take a good look at the man he would be spending the next three weeks with, noting thick-heeled boots, thick bomber jacket that he hadn’t bothered to remove, and the massive backpack with a little flag sticking out from one of the front pockets. While Jaehyun couldn’t read Japanese, he did recognise the travel company’s logo on the flag.

Yuta, Jaehyun also noted, had a very pretty face. Big, expressive eyes, a sharp and pointed nose, and full lips that stretched over the entire width of his face when he smiled. His individual features were strong, but together they gave him a soft, delicate appearance that wouldn’t be out of place in the magazines they published at work. Naturally dark brown hair that was longish in front (nearly covering his half his eyes) but was trimmed very short at the back, made the man look younger than he probably was, unless of course, this person really was younger than Jaehyun. The various, mismatched earrings hanging from a number of piercings on his ears had caught Jaehyun’s attention the most, with the way the jewellery were reflecting the cafe lighting.

“Ah yes, introductions,” the Japanese man picked himself up from the floor, leaving his backpack leaning against the wall before patting himself down (or maybe wiping his palms on his jacket?) before reaching one hand out towards Jaehyun. As soon as the young photographer took the offered hand, Yuta bent his body forward in a full ninety degrees bow, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but follow after.

“It’s very nice to meet you Jaehyun! Can I call you that? My name is Nakamoto Yuta. You may call me Yuta, Nakamoto-san makes me feel old. Oh yes, I’m older than you by two years, I got that from your profile by the way, and I’ll be accompanying you for your entire trip here in Hokkaido.” At this point, Yuta took a peek at a little slip of paper Jaehyun didn’t notice he’d been holding.

“Ah your company is covering all accommodation and transportation expenses, but within reasonable limits of course, that means no five star hotels and no first class tickets. We’ll be using the agency credit card for the bookings, to make sure we’re not going overboard.” Jaehyun nodded, watching as the other reached for his backpack on the floor, hauling it over one shoulder (it looked heavier than him) before nodding for Jaehyun to follow him, which the latter did before he even realised that they were headed to a just emptied table.

“Sorry about that, we have to be quick here you see, it’s a really popular amongst tourists.” Yuta said, once they’d settled down in their seats, thankfully cushioned ones.

“Yeah, I could tell.” Jaehyun gave Yuta his first smile that morning and saw the little pause from the older man, and when he recovered he averted his gaze so quick Jaehyun wasn't sure he hadn’t imagined the moment.

A thick black binder was eventually pulled out from Yuta’s bag, and pushed in front of Jaehyun. The latter eyes were drawn to Yuta’s hands, smaller than his for sure, veiny but almost dainty, with the prettiest set of healthy, pink nails he’d seen on a guy. Interestingly enough, his nails were broken on a few fingers and they didn’t seem to be from habitual biting.

“Here we go. These are the list of places you can visit as part of the package. You have the option to go out of Sapporo of course, the day tours are on the second page, overnight tours are on the fourth page and anything longer are on the second to the last page.” Yuta explained, and in his hands were a small notebook and a cartoony pink flamingo pen that he mostly likely dug out from his bag together with the binder.

“Oh, that’s…a lot of things to choose from.” Jaehyun took one look and knew there was no way he could pick one over the other without help. Hokkaido was known for having one of the most beautiful landscapes in Japan, and with the long list of things and places he could go to, at least according to the guide, and with the way each photos for the corresponding place emphasised their unique charms, Jaehyun felt lost, more than anything.

“I’m not sure where to start at all.” he eventually admitted after a minute of silence.

“Shall I give you some advice?” Yuta wiggled the flamingo pen to get Jaehyun’s attention, and once he had it, he gave a small, kind smile, “be spontaneous. One day at a time. But,” the Japanese man pulled the binder back to his side of the table, turning it on the page he wanted, before pushing it back towards Jaehyun, “you should go see Otaru. Perhaps at the end of your trip, but definitely don’t skip it.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

Jaehyun didn’t know what it was about Yuta, but the way his eyes twinkled as he went on about Hokkaido’s best spots and the best food, and the crazy snowfall made him feel like he was in good hands.

That was how they ended up spending the entire morning in the cafe, with Jaehyun trying a variety of matcha desserts (personally chosen by Yuta after figuring that Jaehyun didn’t have much of a sweet tooth) and Yuta playing with the cats that would occasionally hop on their laps or rub against the legs. Jaehyun didn’t even really like cats.

—

It was past lunch when they finally left the cafe to head to their first destination, Hokkaido shrine. Yuta had been ecstatic to show this particular place, especially after he’d seen the professional camera Jaehyun had taken with him on the trip, _‘this shrine is so photogenic, you won’t believe it’_ , he’d promised.

And Jaehyun wasn’t disappointed, the shrine was mostly empty, Yuta had explained that it was the busiest on the first day of the year and quiet for the days that follow.

The perfectly symmetrical shape of the unique roofing, entrance pathway framed by a line of trees missing their leaves and instead are dusted by a thin layer of snow. The serenity that was characteristic to Japanese shrines got Jaehyun immediately reaching for his camera. He didn’t bother to pack a pair of gloves for this exact reason.

A few perfectly framed shots and all ten cold-bitten fingers later, Jaehyun was finally happy to go further in. Yuta had patiently waited for him on the sides, making sure not to get into the younger man’s way, not even to give suggestions.

“You really do love taking pictures.” Yuta quietly observed, and Jaehyun had to strain to hear him properly. Somehow the quiet had become deafening, or perhaps he just wasn’t used to not having big crowds of people in one space after living in Seoul for years.

“Well, I am a photographer, I’m literally paid to take good pictures.” Jaehyun reasoned with a shrug.

“No, what I mean is…” Yuta paused in front of water vessel in the open area by the shrine, “you love taking pictures. The way your eyes light up, the excitement, it can’t be all about the money, no? Ah,” he waved his hand in front of his small face (that looked even smaller under his thick beanie), looking pretty embarrassed, “I’m sorry, I was rambling. Anyway, have you heard about purification? This is something we do before worshipping, but of course, you don’t have to do it, I read from your profile that you’re Christian and some of them are not comfortable with this practice.”

Jaehyun couldn’t help but admire the way Yuta spoke, the Korean language sounded completely different from his native tongue and there was a slightest hint of an accent, but other than that, he got even the unique vowels down to a native speaker’s level. But more than that, Yuta was a very good judge of character, having only met Jaehyun a few hours ago and already reading him like an open book. A feat, considering how few friends Jaehyun had in Korea and even in the states.

“I…I don’t mind actually. Would you teach me?” The Korean man couldn’t help but want to hear more of Yuta talk; be it about the shrine, its history and practices, and the latter didn’t fail to deliver. He carefully guided Jaehyun for the purification, removing his own gloves for the process.

The water had been cold, but it didn’t make the experience any less enlightening. Unlike Johnny who was always eager to see places, Jaehyun was never one to travel to explore, he’d only ever travelled with a specific goal in mind: from moving to Korea, to visiting his parents in the states, to doing an overseas shoot for work, but other than that he’d never gone on any leisure trip before.

And learning all these new things, he thought, were overwhelming, but in a good way. Like he was finally seeing the world outside the little bubble he’d created around himself.

Light snow had started falling right after they finished with the purification.

And at that moment in front of the shrine, with a person he hardly knew beside him, eyes closed in a silent prayer, Jaehyun couldn’t help but think that despite how most people associated winter with melancholy, the warmth that had started blooming in his chest was anything but.

—

The two days that followed were spent strictly within Sapporo, more so for Jaehyun to get to know his home for the next three weeks, and get him familiarised with the public transport. It was less complicated than Seoul’ssubway system but still pretty challenging for a newcomer who grew up being driven around (and was still being driven around in Seoul, thanks to Johnny’s driver’s license). Truthfully, the city never disappointed in providing new, exciting experiences each day, something Jaehyun didn’t think was possible. But then again, Yuta had a way of surprising people, always finding new things that were sure to capture Jaehyun’s interests.

Yuta had been diligent in picking him up and dropping him back at his hotel, at least until the younger man had gotten the hang of commuting and had finally gotten his own sim card and transport pass.

Throughout this period, Jaehyun had also learned quite a few things about his Japanese guide; like how Yuta learned Korean from a language school he attended as a teen, yet he’d never actually been to Korea before, and that there was only one other Korean speaker from their agency, and he’d been originally assigned for Jaehyun’s trip but happened to have a family emergency, hence Yuta had to take his place.

There were also the little quirks that Jaehyun had slowly started picking up on, like how Yuta would bat his eyes and talk in a small voice when there was something he wanted (mostly discounts at souvenir shops or extra side dishes at restaurants). When his tactics didn’t work, he’d unceremoniously shove Jaehyun to the front, letting his charge’s clueless face do the trick.

He had also started casually showing some of his best pictures to the other, something he didn’t usually do unless he’d known the person for a long time or he needed professional advice. Somehow, the way Yuta’s face lit up with every photograph gave Jaehyun a sense of accomplishment that not even his boss’ approval had given him.

_“Your photos are so much like you?” the older man quietly muttered, as he swiped through the photos on Jaehyun’s iPad._

_“Oh yeah?”_

_“They’re not too flashy. Simple but very deep.”_

That was the first time Jaehyun had ever been compared to his photographs, and the words had stuck with him, making him more aware of the images he wanted to compose before clicking the shutter button.

Before he knew it, hanging out with Yuta had started to feel less like a business arrangement and more of a pair of friends getting reacquainted, because that was how it was like with Yuta — simple, familiar, and boisterous.

—

Jaehyun and Yuta had planned to meet at a downtown subway station on the fourth day, and the younger man had been happy to show off his newly honed navigation skills to his guide through a smug emoji text, shortly after letting him know that he’d arrived at their meeting place without issues.

It also didn’t take him long to find Yuta, standing by the exit he specified on his text, glued to his phone but aware of his surroundings still, with the way he spotted Jaehyun only seconds after the latter had started making his way over to his direction.

“You’re getting better at this each day.” Yuta’s smiled, looking pleased that his efforts of teaching the younger man had not been for nothing. 

“It isn’t exactly rocket science, but I think I almost got thrown out for not putting my phone on silent in the quiet section.” The younger man grinned, and the little cackle Yuta let out was so uniquely him that Jaehyun couldn’t help but want to hear it again.

“You won’t be the first one, that’s for sure.”

Just as they agreed on before, Yuta asked him what he felt like doing that day, to which Jaehyun replied a single _‘get to know more of Sapporo, I guess?’_ , and Yuta looked at him like he’d just come up with the best idea ever, before he was dragging the younger man to what he dubbed to be the best place to start.

Before Jaehyun knew it, he was battling a huge crowd in one of Sapporo’s most famous markets, Tanukikoji, a far cry from their day at the shrine. He was seconds away from telling Yuta that maybe this wasn’t what he had in mind, when they reach an oden restaurant that looked to be popular enough to warrant such a long queue. Yuta left his charge for a _just a minute_ , he promised, before going to approach a guy in front of the queue.

They talked for a bit, with Yuta looking every bit the deceitfully innocent person he was, time to time point at Jaehyun, before the person eventually nodded, and moved to the side. Yuta beckoned Jaehyun closer after taking the guy’s spot.

“In case you think I threatened that guy or something, I didn’t. I asked him nicely after explaining to him that you’ve never had oden before and that you only had a month left before you got deployed in Afghanistan and might never have the chance again.”

Jaehyun let out a little laugh, because only Yuta could come up with something so ridiculously convincing on the spot, but also because there was no way skinny, baby-faced Yuta was even capable of intimidating anyone, but he’d let Yuta have that one, “You’re too good at this, it’s honestly a bit scary."

“Only for my best client.” The older man said with exaggerated hand gestures.

It wasn’t long before they were called into the restaurant, and like before, Yuta took the liberty to order the food for them, after checking with Jaehyun for any allergies. Since they had to remove their boots at the entrance, Jaehyun was surprised to note that Yuta was actually a few centimetres shorter than him, the heels on his boots had been a little thicker than what Jaehyun thought. Before now, they’d only ever gone to western style dining, and were never asked to remove their footwear so it had been an interesting, albeit late, discovery.

Yuta caught him staring and had warned him not to say a word about it, so instead Jaehyun bit his lips in an effort not to grin.

Of course, Jaehyun loved everything Yuta ordered for them, despite having no idea what most of the food were even made of. Hokkaido cuisine was apparently very different from the generic Japanese food one could get from those popular fusion places and americanised sushi restaurants in the west.

‘ _That’s not Japanese food!’_ Yuta exclaimed, appalled, when Jaehyun showed him a picture of one of those guacamole maki he had in America just last summer.

They went to one of the best known souvenir shops right after their meal, just to kill time, because shopping for souvenirs always took longer than what most people thought, Yuta assured, speaking from experience.

By the time they were completely done at Tanukikoji, the sun had already almost set. They watched the sunset in silence from one of the benches outside the station, and once darkness had settled completely on the snow-covered streets, Yuta had given him a three minutes heads up before he was taking the younger man on the subway, going the opposite direction to his hotel.

Apparently, to see the infamous ice sculptures for the winter festival.

Jaehyun honestly, had forgotten about it. It was what Sapporo was most known for, and had been the initial reason he decided to take the trip in late January instead of early spring. However, he hadn’t exactly been in a rush to see the sculptures once Yuta had started showing him the real Sapporo beyond all the tourist traps.

So he was a bit surprised that Yuta had planned to take him there tonight, although it wasn’t much of a plan if the other’s reason had been, “tonight’s weather is so nice, clear skies and not overly cold. Who knows if we’ll get another nice evening like this before the festival ends?”

Oodori park was conveniently located downtown too, so they didn’t need to travel far, but they had been outside now for an entire day so it couldn’t be helped that Jaehyun was a little exhausted, if not a bit cold because his dumbass self decided not to bring gloves. But all of those melted away at the sight that greeted them: snow sculpted into the most sophisticated creations, from majestic castles and iconic structures to giant Pikachus, illuminated by flashy coloured spotlights.

Jaehyun wasn’t aware that he’d been gaping until Yuta playfully pushed his chin up, _‘don’t let a fly in’_ he whispered in amusement. Jaehyun had pretended to be annoyed, but was otherwise very thankful that Yuta was just the right amount of impulsive because the weather really was perfect to see the sculptures in all its glory. His camera was up and ready in seconds, after he’d hastily changed lenses, and he was ready to be the one dragging Yuta around this time when the older man stopped him.

“Here, your hands are so red now. The thumb cover is removable, if you needed to use the touch screen function on your camera.” To say that Jaehyun had been taken aback was an understatement. There on Yuta’s hands were a pair of black gloves with _Sapporo_ stitched in a tiny red font at the back, obviously new from the tag hanging from it. Jaehyun hadn’t been expecting the gesture, and was deeply touched.

“Oh…thank you so much, you didn’t have to though” Jaehyun took them anyway, and after pulling the tag off, put them on. His hands definitely felt toastier, “but where did you…?”

Jaehyun didn’t need to finish his sentence because Yuta was already smiling his trademark close-mouthed, sheepish smile, “at the souvenir shop! it’s pretty cheap getting stuff from there, only if you don’t mind them screaming tourist.” Yuta turned his own gloves over and pulled at one of his jacket’s long sleeves, showing the city’s name stitched on the edge of the glove.

“Yuta,” This was probably the first time Jaehyun was addressing the other so informally, so it wasn’t a surprise that he got Yuta’s attention faster than usual, “thank you, really. This means a lot. Shall we go take some pictures over that side?”

With a tiny, excited nod from Yuta, they carefully made their way where the small ice sculptures are, one particularly big one caught their attention, and in between the twenty pictures he took of the same sculpture, Jaehyun found himself pointing his lens to an unsuspecting Yuta, who was too engrossed in one of the smaller but more detailed ice sculptures to notice the attention he was getting.

Yuta’s eyes looked like they sparkled as the colourful lights reflected on them, his plump lips parted slightly in awe, and the almost unreal background seemed to emphasise his beautiful profile.

Jaehyun put the camera down after the fourth picture, this time letting his eyes drink in the way the other stood out over the majestic snow and ice sculptures that surrounded them. It felt like he was seeing Yuta for the first time, and Jaehyun thought he’d never seen anything more captivating.

—

The younger man surprised Yuta the next time they meet by deciding their next destination himself.

“That’s a good choice! There’s also plenty of things to see around Biei and Furano. Do you think you’re up to stay there for a few nights?” Yuta looked very excited at the suggestion, he probably thought he was slowly getting Jaehyun to come out of his shell, and he wasn’t entirely wrong.

The young photographer had done his own research as soon as he reached the hotel the night before. He knew he wanted to see the blue pond in Biei and the infamous Ningle Terrace in Furano and the thought of escaping the city, despite how charming Sapporo was, just for a few days had been an enticing thought, and Yuta’s company had added more to its appeal.

Since they had to prepare for the out of town trip, they opted to take it easy for the day, choosing to get their breakfast in one of the smaller cafes ( _‘less crowd’_ Yuta explained simply) near Odori park. Jaehyun enjoyed a cup of espresso and a red bean paste filled bun that wasn’t overly sweet, while Yuta made the necessary arrangements for their accommodation in Biei and Furano area with a cup of iced coffee (Jaehyun honestly had never seen him order coffee without ice).

While the younger man watched Yuta do his work, he couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t seen the other wear anything other than constricting wool sweaters that covered everything down to his palms, and baggy jeans that looked like they could fit two of him. Jaehyun found it interesting, because Yuta’s personality didn’t fit with his choice of clothing, he struck Jaehyun more as an oversized t-shirt (even in the dead of winter) and skinny jeans kind of person, someone who appreciated comfort and fashion in perfect balance.

Perhaps he was just easily cold, after all, Yuta was very skinny and probably didn’t have enough fat on him for insulation, Jaehyun pondered in silence.

Yuta must’d noticed his staring, because he looked up from his little notebook, giving the other a knowing smile, “Is there something on my face?”

“Yeah, you’ve got crumbs around your mouth.” Jaehyun straight up lied, and he knew Yuta could tell immediately, by how quick he’d answered (and also because the other had a big serving of daifuku mochi, so _crumbs_ had been a stupid excuse). The other seemed to find it more amusing than anything however, because he went right back to scribbling on his notebook.

“Yuta,” Jaehyun called softly this time, “Is it fine? That you’ll be away from Sapporo for a few days?”

“Well it is my job to go with you pretty much anywhere, and I live alone.” Yuta didn’t look up, but Jaehyun could hear the amusement in his tone when he continued, “is this your way of asking if I’m seeing anyone?”

When Jaehyun didn’t answer for an entire second, Yuta lifted his gaze, before breaking into full out laughter at the sight of Jaehyun completely red in the face, “Oh my gosh, I was joking! Relax Jaehyun.”

“Y-you think you’re funny.” Jaehyun sputtered but it was a weak come back, and he was still burning from embarrassment (because Yuta’s words weren’t completely off the mark) and because Yuta was still laughing like there was no tomorrow.

As infectious as the older man’s laughter was, Jaehyun really didn’t appreciate onlookers’ attention. 

“Sorry, sorry, oh Jaehyun you’re so adorable.” Yuta said in between catching his breath and tucking his bangs behind his ears. He’d finally stopped laughing, though he still had a huge smile fixed on his face.

“Not as much as you are,” Jaehyun retorted, almost childishly, and at Yuta’s confused gaze, he clarified, “you’re more adorable, I mean…” And it was Yuta’s turn to look embarrassed, and the younger man had a feeling it was more second hand embarrassment from how bad Jaehyun was at flirting, if you could even call it that.

Beneath Yuta’s snickering and mock disappointment at Jaehyun’s _‘sad attempt at being suave’_ however, were red ears, and a nervous habit of twirling a long strand of hair from his temple between his index finger and thumb that Jaehyun didn’t miss.

The photographer decided he’d burn that particular image in memory.

—

On the train to Biei the next day found them settled in a cosy spot near the train doors and despite the surprising number of empty seats around them, Jaehyun and Yuta opted to sit next to each other anyway, sharing the colourful bento that Yuta got them from the station before they left.

While Yuta had reminded the younger man multiple times against eating on the go in Japan, he’d been the first one to buckle after missing breakfast, thanks to him oversleeping. Jaehyun had given him an amused smile, before he started digging into the bento himself, despite being unfamiliar with half the colourful content. The Japanese had a way of turning any ingredient into something completely unrecognisable, say like, the naruto fishcake. 

Yuta laughed at Jaehyun’s observation, and wholeheartedly agreed.

The Korean man also found out that Yuta was an incredibly messy eater; he’d never, in his life, seen anyone manage to get their food in their lap, clothes, and _hair_ all at the same time. It was almost a talent.

Yuta had been embarrassed about it at first, but Jaehyun was quick to assure him his own way, “Idon’t know, being a messy eater somehow suits your character.” and it seemed to work better than he imagined, because Yuta broke into a tiny smile, and mock punched the taller man on the arm. Jaehyun of course, didn’t feel it through his puffy jacket.

The trip took an entire two hours, and they watched the sceneries transition from the concrete structures of Hokkaido’s biggest city, to the suburban landscapes on the outskirts of Sapporo, and then eventually, to the quiet hills characteristic of one of the most beautiful countrysides in all of Japan’s islands.

“These hills are beautiful in spring.” Yuta said quietly, and Jaehyun chanced a glance at his companion, noting the way the sunlight fell on just the right places on his face; his eyelashes looked darker and longer than ever, his lips even redder, while the sun washed out the healthy honey colour of his skin. There was a glassy look on the other’s eyes that was almost melancholic.

“I could imagine. But they look magical now too, even covered in so much snow.” Jaehyun pulled his gaze back to the window the moment he saw Yuta turning towards him.

“You’re going to love Biei, and Furano.” The smaller man said softly, his demeanour changing in seconds, “wait, you don’t have any tattoos right? It was mentioned in the guide they sent you by email, but in case you didn’t read it, you can’t go in the hot springs with a tattoo.” Yuta said the rest with a small frown, as if all his plans would go to waste if Jaehyun couldn’t try the hot springs.

“Do I look like I’d have one?” Jaehyun laughed, and Yuta made a face at him.

“Well, I wouldn’t know, would I? It’s always the sweet looking ones that have them.”

“So you think I look sweet?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Jung.”

Jaehyun couldn’t express his amazement at how far they’d come in just a few days, from being unable to look each other in the eyes to joking around and bantering like they’d known each other for years. Jaehyun had never known anyone like Yuta, from his unique sense of humour that matched Jaehyun’s, to the cleverly scathing comebacks he had under his sleeves (his pretty face really was deceiving), and he’d started to realise that it wasn’t just Hokkaido that had started to stir something in him.

—

After checking into their accommodation and dropping off their bigger bags, they don’t waste time in getting into a taxi to see the blue pond. Jaehyun made sure to pack two extra batteries for his camera in his backpack, knowing how the cold managed to always cut down the battery life to half, while Yuta as always, was in charge of packing food for their little excursion.

Fortunately, since the last few days had been warmer than normal, the thin layer of snow on top of the frozen pond had melted, giving a clear view of the vibrant, enigmatic colour it was known for.

Jaehyun took dozens of photos, mostly because there had been a lot of people and getting a good shot without someone’s head in the way had been a challenge. Yuta, seeing Jaehyun’s struggle, had started talking to passersby, kindly asking them to take an alternative walking route, to which most had responded without problem, after taking one look at Jaehyun.

“Wouldn’t that get you in trouble?” Jaehyun asked, after taking a short break to stretch.

Yuta merely shrugged, “I guess, but they don’t seem to care, they see you and they go all googly-eyed. Must be the dimples.”

The taller man raised a brow at that, “I think that was mostly you, I saw them smiling at you before they even saw me.”

“That’s probably because of my accent, I’m sure they just find the way I speak funny.” Yuta looked sheepish, like it’d taken him his all to admit that.

“Your accent?”

“Yeah, I’m originally from Osaka. You don’t speak Japanese so you don’t hear the difference, but to the standard Japanese speakers, my accent is pretty strong.” Jaehyun couldn’t help his surprise. He was so sure Yuta had been from Sapporo, with how well he knew the city.

“I had no idea. So you moved to Sapporo? Why not Tokyo?”

“I haven’t really been in Osaka for years. I moved to Sapporo for univesity. And why not Tokyo? Because I’ve always loved snow.” Yuta had explained with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and Jaehyun was about to ask the reason behind that logic when Yuta effectively changed the direction of the conversation, “would you like to try this sausage? It’s one of the specialities from the area.”

The older man had already unwrapped the sausage from its plastic packaging, wiggling the thing in Jaehyun’s face inappropriately that the latter didn’t have much choice but to bite a good half of it to get Yuta to stop. The sausage being actually good had been a bonus.

The shorter man shoved the remaining half of the sausage in his own mouth, winking (and failing miserably at it) at Jaehyun, as if he’d accomplished something there.

Jaehyun internally moaned the fact that Yuta had apparently figured out one way to effectively shut him up.

The plan had been to return to their accommodation after having their fill of the blue pond; they’d been up early and exhaustion had started sinking into their bones.

And Jaehyun should’ve seen it coming, really, the two of them had been glued together for days now that he shouldn’t have been surprised when Yuta, mouth full with the onigiri he’d packed for them, looked him in the eyes like he’d just had a moment of enlightenment.

“Jae,” the nickname caught Jaehyun off-guard, and that single word had been his undoing, “what do you think about catching a ride to see one of the most breathtaking things you’ll see in your life?” The younger man gave himself a moment to chew and swallow the sausage he’d been indulging on.

“Like, right now?” Yuta nodded his head so fast that it looked like it was going to detach from his neck.

“Yes, right now. I’ll call for a taxi if you’re down for it.” There really was no way he could’ve said no to the shorter man, who was now sticking his face into Jaehyun’s personal space (and boy did that make him uncomfortable in ways he didn’t want to think about), eyes filled with unfiltered excitement.

“O-okay. As long as we still get to go back to the inn before midnight, I’m all good.” Jaehyun couldn’t help his own little smile at Yuta’s little celebratory dance, “And I trust your judgement Yuta,” the younger man continued, not missing the way Yuta’s eyes had widened, before his entire demeanour softened.

“You won’t be disappointed, I promise.”

—

And Jaehyun hadn’t been. It had taken a few minutes walk from where the taxi dropped them off, to where they were headed to, and Yuta had been tightlipped about the place, wanting it to be a surprise for his charge, in his own words, _‘let the view speak for itself’_.

Jaehyun was glad he followed Yuta, despite the dull ache in his legs, because he knew he’d never seen anything as beautiful before. Half frozen water falls flow into a deep blue ravine reminiscent of the blue pond, the colour looking even more vibrant framed by the thick snow on the ground and the frosted trees that surrounded the area. Unlike at the blue pond, there were no crowds to battle for the perfect photo spot, something that Yuta must’ve considered after seeing Jaehyun’s struggle earlier.

Shirahige Waterfalls really was a sight to behold.

The younger man swivelled around to face Yuta, who’d looked just as pleased at the unadulterated wonder that he must’ve seen in Jaehyun’s face, “Yuta, Yuta,” and before Jaehyun knew what he was doing,he was gathering the slighter man in a tight embrace, with Yuta’s melodious laughter ringing in his ears.

“This is amazing, Yuta!” Jaehyun had forgotten how it felt like, to be taken on a ride where the destination was not in sight, and Yuta made him feel that way, and it was both scary and exhilarating.

They’d broken apart in laughter, with Yuta ushering him to one of the best spots to take what could only be amazing photos from. It couldn’t be helped that the first photos he took were of Yuta, backdropped by the majestic waterfalls, this time however, his subject had been aware, and was more than happy to smile for him.

—

They ended up staying way past sunset, just simply sitting there, watching nature at its finest while Jaehyun opened up about his life to Yuta, a conversation he never thought he’d be having with a man he met only days ago. He’d told him about his struggles moving to Korea, a country he’d never lived in prior to getting his photography job, about his worries with fitting in and not having the drive to do anything other than what was expected of him.

Yuta made him feel at ease in his own unique ways, and he’d listened to Jaehyun’s story attentively, chipping in with his thoughts once in a while, and only when necessary. Otherwise, the comforting hand he’d slipped in Jaehyun’s own had been enough. Just like that, they’d lost track of time.

The older man had looked at Jaehyun apologetically, after multiple failed attempts to call a taxi. It seemed either everyone is trying to book for taxis at the same time or it’d just gotten very late that there were few drivers within the immediate vicinity of the falls. It left them with little option, as Yuta led the way to the nearby ryokan.

While they did plan to visit an onsen on this trip, it definitely wasn’t supposed to be this soon. Not with Jaehyun having no spare clothes to change into, with his phone about to die any moment now (stupid of him not to pack a charger) and the only thing really functional on him being his camera.

He didn’t think it was such a bad idea though, not with the way Yuta was talking to the receptionist with his charms all maxed out, looking more collected than worried. Moments later, the older man beckoned Jaehyun closer, and lightly elbowed him on the side, ‘ _smile Jae’_ , he whispered in Korean, while Jaehyun did as he was told.

The receptionist looked between them before turning back to Yuta, speaking in rapid fire Japanese that Jaehyun couldn’t even hope to catch. Before long, she was guiding them to a room that was relatively close to the entrance to the hot springs, judging by the sound of running water.

“What was that? Jaehyun asked, as soon as they were left alone.

“They didn’t have anymore twin rooms left for tonight, so uh…I convinced her to give us a double for the price of the twin.” The implications of his words didn’t fully sink in until Yuta was pushing the shoji door to their room open, to reveal the single futon on the floor, wide enough to accommodate two people and looking like the most comfortable thing in the world at the moment, but a single one nonetheless.

“So yeah, guess we’d be hugging each other to sleep tonight.” Yuta was obviously joking, trying to make light of a situation that had gotten slightly out of hand, but Jaehyun didn’t miss the way his cheeks burned at his own words.

“Well, better than freezing outside.” Jaehyun shrugged, trying to reassure Yuta (and maybe himself too) that this _wasn’t awkward, nope, not at all._

While the situation wasn’t the most ideal, it didn’t take away the fact that this was the first time Jaehyun was sleeping on a futon, in fact, it was his first time being in a traditional Japanese room. So between the two of them, he’d taken the whole impromptu onsen trip a little better.

Yuta watched him from the sidelines as he touched nearly everything in the room, getting to know even the smallest details, and time to time taking pictures of them too, with the patience of a saint.

“Why don’t you go check out the hot springs, since we’re here already?” Yuta smiled kindly, shrugging off his jacket and scarf but not making any move to change into the ryokan-issued yukata.

“Are you not coming?” Jaehyun didn’t need to be told twice, already reaching for the yukata after shedding off his own jacket and sweater. The younger man smirked at the way Yuta turned the other way, looking a little flustered, as soon as Jaehyun’s undershirt came off.

“I’m good here, I’m feeling extra tired so I’ll just prepare us some late dinner while you soak.” The other pulled at the neck of his sweater, like he was itching to get out of it but wasn’t comfortable enough to do so in front of Jaehyun. The latter found that interesting, considering how unapologetically shameless the Japanese had proven himself to be over the course of the trip, openly flirting at nearly every chance he got.

Jaehyun was in the process of pulling his jeans off under the yukata he’d wrapped around his body, when he processed Yuta’s words.

“Dinner? From where?”

“I packed instant noodles. Always be prepared in winter, you can never tell when you’ll be stranded in some godforsaken mountain.” Yuta had said the words with a straight face, which made the fact that he packed instant noodles in his massive backpack on what was supposedly a short day trip to the blue pond even more ridiculous.

Still, Jaehyun gave him a thumbs up for this efforts before leaving him for the hot springs, which was located outdoors. Yuta had given him the rundown on onsen etiquette earlier on so he wasn’t completely lost. He knew all of this, but as soon as he stepped a foot into the changing room, he felt unsure.

It was the first time he was doing anything without Yuta by his side, a fact that didn’t fully register until he’d gotten a peek of the hot springs from the changing room, the view nothing less than magnificent, but there was no Yuta to share it with.

—

Jaehyun was back in their room in less than an hour, and found his roommate glued to his phone under the warm kotatsu, with only his head down to his shoulders peeking out, and using the floor cushions as a pillow. He was still in his sweater, but Jaehyun could see his baggy jeans folded messily in one corner of the room.

Their late _dinner_ , an extravagant meal of cup noodles, leftover rice crackers and free tea bags soaking in two cups of hot water were laid out on top of the kotatsu, and the smell wafting over to Jaehyun had the latter taking large strides towards his first meal of the evening.

“Throw me a cushion, will you?” Yuta sat up and wordlessly did as he was asked. He had a noticeable frown on his face, which disappeared as soon as he took in Jaehyun’s wet hair, and overall refreshed demeanour.

“How was it?”

“It was great, I feel much warmer now.” _would’ve been better with you there_ , the younger man thought but Yuta didn’t have to know that, “you should’ve gone too, then you wouldn’t be so cold.” Jaehyun gesture towards the sweater that Yuta was still wearing.

The older man shrugged, “It’s fine, I feel comfortable in this anyway.”

Jaehyun let it go at that, despite finding the answer a bit odd, with the way Yuta had been scratching at his wrists and neck. Cheap cotton and dry skin were never a good combination, and judging from how much hand lotion Yuta used in a single day, he fulfilled at least one of those two points.

They had their dinner in silence, inhaling the food like they’d been starving for days. They exchanged a joke or two in between a game of rock paper scissors, something Yuta proposed to decide who was going to clean up (which ended up being Jaehyun).

Beat and with a full belly, Yuta was the first one to crawl into the futon, finally leaving his warm spot in the kotatsu. The older man was only in his boxers, but he’d kept his long white socks on. The look had been amusing and Jaehyun was ready to point it out when he noticed the almost anxious way Yuta had rushed to get under the covers. Yuta was anything but shy, so Jaehyun found no reason for the other to be so guarded about his state of undress around Jaehyun.

The Korean man soon joined Yuta in the futon after turning off the lights, noting how soft it was and how much better it felt than the usual hotel beds. His eyes were drooping close when Yuta had softly called his name. Jaehyun turned on his side to face the older man, and found him lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, illuminated only by the moonlight filtering through the shoji windows.

“Today had been very fun hadn’t it? I’ve never had this much fun with any other clients before.” The words were uttered in such a soft voice that Jaehyun had to wonder if he wasn’t dreaming this.

“But we’re not just a client and a guide anymore. Aren’t we friends now?” It must be the exhaustion, making him more daring than usual, but Jaehyun knew that that was something he had to say somehow. Yuta had to know that they’d gone past a professional relationship ways ago. Yuta blinked at Jaehyun’s words, turning to face his roommate as if acknowledging his presence beside him for the first time.

“Ah, you’re the first one to call me a friend too. A lot of those rich Korean clients are so snooty you know?” Jaehyun let loose a throaty laugh at that. The slighter man turned his gaze back to the ceiling.

“I’m glad I stand out in a good way then.” Silence followed and Jaehyun was convinced that Yuta had fallen asleep, when the other responded in the softest of voices.

“But it’s funny. We couldn’t be more different.” Jaehyun raised both brows in confusion, but doubted Yuta could see it in the dark, “we live in completely different worlds, Jae, that it’s almost amazing that we even met in the first place.”

Jaehyun was just about to open his mouth to contest that, because Yuta was the first person to understand him with very little effort. That there hadn’t been a need for Jaehyun to explain himself anytime during the trip because Yuta always got what he wanted even before he had to say a word. They may be different in many ways but they share laughter and emotions so easily that they might as well live in a bubble by themselves and it would be just fine.

And that Yuta made Jaehyun feel things, things he was sure Yuta felt too. But before he could share any of these, he heard the quietest of snores.

If there was anything he took away from that strange conversation, it was that there was more to the older man that what Jaehyun thought he knew, he’d probably only barely scratched the surface of the mystery that was Yuta.

That, and that Yuta man slept with his eyes half open.

—

Yuta had been right about the hugging part, Jaehyun realised in mortification the next morning. He’d woken up feeling more rested than he’d felt in a while, but also cold and overheated at the same time. A quick glance behind him explained why; Yuta had pretty much attached his entire body to Jaehyun’s back, his arm swimming in his big sweater sleeve was thrown over Jaehyun’s waist, while one of his bare legs was hooked just above the taller man’s hip.

Yuta was curled in a sort of foetal position, making himself look much smaller than he actually was. The covers had long been tossed to the foot of the futon. A spot on the other’s thigh that looked like a bruise had caught Jaehyun’s eyes, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it in his panic to fix his yukata that had gotten loose overnight, and was now pushed down his shoulders, with the bottom having ridden up to his thighs. He couldn’t think of a more awkward way to wake up.

Trying to fix his yukata in place had woken Yuta up, and while Jaehyun had been internally dying of shame, the other took one look at him, a playful grin decorating his sleepy face, and decided to help tie the yukata’s knot the way it should’ve been.

If he noticed the way Jaehyun’s face burned while Yuta’s unruly bed hair brushed against the younger man’s chin with how close they were, he was kind enough not to say a word about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments from the last chapter! Like I said, this was supposed to be just a oneshot that just, got too much, so I think I should be finishing this earlier than I thought. So I've updated the chapter count to 3. There's also the possibility that there will be additional works related to this universe later on, we will see.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this new chapter. Please do mind the tags, especially the background abuse part.
> 
> Last warning: lots of kissing in this chapter lol

The rest of the trip in Biei and Furano had progressed according to what little plan they actually made; this time, Yuta had been more careful not to get them stranded in remote locations, to which Jaehyun had been thankful for (although he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love the spontaneity that came with Yuta).

Three days had gone by too quick for Jaehyun’s liking, and before he knew it, they were at the last leg of their little country get away. As per Yuta’s suggestion, they left Ningle Terrace for last, allocating an entire afternoon for it.

If Jaehyun thought he’d seen the best of the country yet, he couldn’t be more wrong. Ningle Terrace turned out to be quite a sight; a cluster of little timber cottages beautifully arranged, surrounded by woodland and covered in powdery snow. They had a little bit of snowfall the night before, and Yuta had been ecstatic with their luck, claiming it was the perfect condition to see the quaint, woodwork ‘shopping mall’.

Yuta had booked them a little crafting class in advance, wanting Jaehyun to experience the complexity and thrill of making his own wood scented candle, and kaleidoscopes. Yuta, of course, had joined in on the lessons (initially for the purpose of translating, before he got so into it himself), and was more than happy to laugh at the fact that Jaehyun’s artistic flair only extended as far as photography was concerned.

They did succeed in making a decent looking gradient candle, and a kaleidoscope that Jaehyun had carefully boxed, with the softest expression on his face.

It was already getting dark by the time they’d completely gone around the trail, not missing a single cottage, even with the way their attention had long shifted on each other, rather than their surroundings. There were a bunch of couples walking alongside them, and they could easily pass as one too, with how they’d been glued together all afternoon, Yuta had pointed out with a breathy laugh.

There was a hidden gem further down the trail, a cottage-style cafe that was nestled in the woods, something Yuta brought up in passing when they were about to head back. They had an early train to catch the next day and they really could use some rest after a long three days on their feet.

But with the way the cottages were lit up in soft yellow lights that reflected on the snow, while the rest of the forest were bathed in darkness, it seemed too early to end the night. The moment felt just right; the serene ambiance of the village, the fact that it was in a forest (Yuta’s natural habitat) of all places, and with the earthy scent that was wafting from the nature that surrounded them. They all made Jaehyun feel braver than he normally was, so he extended a hand towards a confused Yuta, taking the lead for the first time, as he let the wind carry his words, “Yuta, would you go out with me for coffee?”

Yuta looked conflicted for a moment, brows knitting into a frown and unconsciously nibbling on his bottom lip, another nervous habit that Jaehyun had started to recognise. They both knew the implications of Jaehyun’s invitation, the way Yuta hesitated was a further testament to the fact that he wasn’t unaware of whatever had started brewing in Jaehyun.

Jaehyun couldn’t blame Yuta, however, if he refused. The latter hadn’t exactly been consistent with his signals, and Jaehyun wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been reading the other wrong all this time.

The older man, however, surprised him when he took the gloved hand that had been offered out for him, holding it as tight as he could through his own glove. He still looked unsure, but the light dusting of pink on his cheeks was a good start, and Jaehyun took his time leading the shorter man to where the cafe was supposed to be, deeper in the forest.

As the general chatter of the crowd became muffled by the tranquil silence of the forest, Jaehyun felt a tug on their joined hands.

“You have very kind and gentle hands, Jae.” Yuta smiled at him as soon as their eyes met, and while Jaehyun didn’t fully understand the other meant sometimes, at least not on the same level Yuta understood him, there was no way he wouldn’t return the smile with his own dimpled one.

They eventually found a nice little spot by the window in the cafe, hands still joined under the table but this time without the gloves in the way. The coffee hadn’t been anything special, but the forest blanketed in snow and the presence of each other made the experience magical, like it came straight out of some coming of age movie.

Yuta, who had also ordered a slice of apple pie with his cup of baked milk, had of course gotten it all over his mouth and the front of his sherpa jacket that was still zipped all the way up to his chin. This time, there wasn’t a hint of hesitation when Jaehyun reached out to brush his knuckles against the other’s soft lips, gently brushing the crumbs off them.

They both stiffened up when Jaehyun didn’t immediately pull away even after Yuta’s face was clean. The younger man swallowed the lump in his throat, before softly whispering, “Can I kiss you?” Yuta’s eyes had widened just a little bit, before they started to shine with what looked like unshed tears, and Jaehyun knew that Yuta got easily emotional, but the tears weren’t just of fondness, there was a little bit of sadness in there too, and he was about to take his words back when Yuta surprised him yet again with a tiny nod, “Yes, Jae, yes yes”.

Jaehyun, unsure, moved his hand from the other’s lips to cup Yuta’s jaw, smooth and without the angular bone that was characteristic of the male faces he’d held in the past. Jaehyun kept his touch feather light, almost as if the lightest pressure will scare the older man away.

Their lips touched tentatively, and before Jaehyun knew it, they were pressing closer, and closer in equal fervour. Yuta’s own hands came up to wrap around Jaehyun’s neck, settling on his nape as he practically climbed into Jaehyun’s lap.

Yuta kissed like he laughed, loud and with so much passion. Jaehyun couldn’t help but be drawn further in, Yuta’s scent, the feel of his lips, his soft, albeit sunken cheeks, the fingertips dancing over his own skin; they were the only things he could focus on.

They may have made a few obscene sounds, in between the kisses they shared and eventually lost count of, over Jaehyun’s cup of now lukewarm coffee and the half eaten pie Yuta would probably insist to be packed to take away later on. By the time they’d broken apart, but with Yuta still in Jaehyun’s lap, almost the entire cafe staff had red faces, mostly avoiding looking in their general direction, but shooting them quick glances when they think the couple weren’t looking. And Jaehyun _was_ looking, after coming to his senses.

The place was mostly empty, the other patrons having already left. With a little chuckle, Yuta helpfully informed him that they’d been giving the staff a free show five minutes pass closing time. Jaehyun, being the well-mannered, incredibly considerate person that he was, went into panic, grabbing their stuff and Yuta in his haste to vacate the cafe. Predictably, Yuta whined about his pie and baked milk going to waste.

On their little hike back to civilisation, Jaehyun pulled on their joined hands gently. He let go of Yuta (and immediately missed the warmth of his hand) in favour of tinkering with his camera. The other, recognising Jaehyun’s habits by now, posed nicely, making a v with his gloved fingers.

As soon as Jaehyun had capped the lens again, Yuta quietly took the younger man’s hand, “You always take pictures of me but I don’t think we’ve ever had a picture together.”

The observation surprised Jaehyun, he hadn’t really thought about that, having never been on the other side of the camera for a long time. He was about to uncap his lens again when Yuta stopped him with his unoccupied hand, before reaching into his pocket for his phone.

“But the lighting?” Jaehyun weakly protested, knowing the limits of a smartphone’s camera.

“Oh it’s fine, it doesn’t need to be perfect. It just has to have you and me in it.” Yuta was already posing for the camera, holding the phone at just the right distance to include both of them in the frame. True to Jaehyun’s concerns, the photo turned out grainy and too dark, he almost couldn’t recognise himself if not for the little light coming from the parking lot just ahead of them. Yuta was a little easier to see, having been in front, but his features were equally blurred out.

They had a little laugh over the picture, but Jaehyun saw Yuta tap the heart button on it, effectively saving it under his favourites. The taller man slipped his hand back into Yuta’s as they made their way back; he was just generally glad that they had their first kiss in one of the most unforgettable places, with an endearingly bad photo to show for it.

—

After getting back to Sapporo, Jaehyun spent a good chunk of his morning sleeping. He was thoroughly spent after the three days trip out of town, especially since they had little to no rest on their last night, opting to spend it kissing each other silly. It still felt a bit dream-like, yet the way Jaehyun’s skin still tingled where Yuta touched him was a reminder that all of that had been real, and he had, in fact, snogged his pretty tour guide all night long.

Curiously, Yuta hadn’t sent his customary good morning text, something Jaehyun had gotten used to waking up to in the past week. Jaehyun thought nothing of it, Yuta must be just as tired and was either sleeping or catching up on his much needed caffeine. The man was addicted to coffee.

It wasn’t long after Jaehyun had finished showering and it was way past lunch time without a word from Yuta that he took upon himself to message the Japanese man. Yuta had been uncharacteristically slow, he didn’t respond until about fifteen minutes after Jaehyun’s message, and when he did, it had been a short affirmative to the younger man’s invitation for coffee.

The exchange bothered Jaehyun; Yuta had never given him the cold treatment even back when they hardly knew each other. He quickly brushed it off as him being overly sensitive (and probably a tad scared that he really had just imagined the promising progress in their relationship), and reminded himself that they just spent the day before being all over each other.

There was no way Yuta was already regretting that, not with the way he kissed, absolutely no way.

—

Jaehyun had asked to meet Yuta in the same cat cafe they met in for the first time. By now he had already figured that the older man was immensely fond of cats, and thought that a bit of exposure to the hairballs were enough to lift Yuta’s mood, that was if Jaehyun had been right about Yuta being a little off based on his texts, otherwise, this was just another way to impress Yuta.

He hadn’t accounted for the fact that Yuta would be _limping_ in, however, and immediately regretted his decision to make the other go all the way downtown.

“What happened?” Jaehyun asked, hands already reaching for Yuta, who was struggling to get comfortable in his chair.

“Ah I fell down the stairs last night, it was a nasty fall I tell you. But I’m all good now.” The shorter man was quick to reassure, grabbing Jaehyun’s hand over the table in a strong grip, as if it would convey how _okay_ he really was.

“Why were you taking the stairs in the first place?”

“Ah, the elevator wasn’t working.”

“Oh my god, how the hell are you supposed to be okay after falling down a flight of stairs?! I can’t believe you!” Jaehyun surprised himself with how loud he was being. He was normally more composed that this, but there was no helping it; the thought that Yuta had been in a serious accident and didn’t bother to tell him was upsetting.

“It’s really fine. You see, I was a football player before. I could take a few falls here and there. I’m used to them.” He smiled kindly, tiredness showing in his eyes, “I’m durable, Jae, I’ve survived worse things.” That didn’t make Jaehyun feel any better, but he knew that fretting over Yuta would do them no good too, so instead, he quietly stood up from his chair, making his way around the table to gather Yuta in a warm embrace, his lips coming down to press a soft kiss on the crown of the other’s head.

Yuta seemed to take well to the contact, and wrapped his arms around Jaehyun’s midsection, burying his face in the younger man’s belly. Jaehyun wondered if imagined the almost desperate hold Yuta had around him, before he eventually let go, jokingly asking Jaehyun to buy him a pitcher of iced coffee.

—

Wanting Yuta to recover fully before doing anything too straining, Jaehyun had instead requested to spend the next few days in his hotel room. Jaehyun had specified that all Yuta needed to do was come in the morning, lie in bed with Jaehyun while the latter ordered them traditional Japanese for breakfast.

_‘this isn’t covered by your company’s package you know’ Yuta reminded, while gobbling down tamagoyaki like no one’s business._

_‘I’m fully aware, I’m not completely broke you know? I can pay for room service myself.’_

For lunch, they went out to any nearby restaurant that had at least a four-star approval rating from tripadvisor, and aimlessly walked around the vicinity of the hotel for the rest of the day.

Like clockwork, Yuta would grab a bunch of onigiri from the convenience store, all with different toppings, and a lot of other stuff Jaehyun didn’t recognise (and didn’t even look like food), and laid them out on the table like a little buffet for dinner, while they cuddled in bed, binge-watching some anime series Jaehyun didn’t even know the title to. Yuta would translate for him every few seconds, but always after the crucial moments so Jaehyun’s reaction was always moments behind. Every single night however, Yuta had gone home before the last train left.

Their routine lasted for three days, before Yuta, now feeling much better, had insisted that Jaehyun should enjoy his holiday properly, that meant going somewhere further than a ten minute walk outside the hotel.

_“And besides, I’m starting to feel like a prostitute at this point. I’m getting paid to cuddle and kiss you!”_ Yuta had exclaimed in mock mortification, but the taller man knew that he’d rather be in bed with Jaehyun than anywhere else.

Eventually, they agreed to make an overnight trip to Noboribetsu, another famous hot spring destination that Yuta maintained was one of the best hot spring resorts Jaehyun would ever have the privilege to visit. Jaehyun knew that Yuta was never wrong in these kind of things, so he was more than happy to pack up the night before the trip, with Yuta watching him quietly from the bed where he had Jaehyun’s iPad and his notes laid out.

“I think the hot springs will help you heal faster too.” Jaehyun had suggested casually after he was done zipping up his bag. He saw the way Yuta stiffened at his words, before the other ever so casually scooted to the side of the bed to make space for Jaehyun. The taller man didn’t hesitate to envelope Yuta in his arms after he got comfortable under the covers, “why don’t you stay here tonight? You still have spare clothes you left here last time. We can get whatever you need from the convenience store tomorrow morning.” This was the first time Jaehyun had asked, since Yuta hadn’t been forthcoming with the idea of staying from day one.

Yuta moved back from where he’d been snuggling against Jaehyun’s chest to look at the latter when he responded, “Sorry, I really can’t. My roommate lost his keys so I have to open up for him tonight.”

Jaehyun frowned at this bit of information, “I thought you lived alone?”

The Japanese guide seemed surprised himself, but he simply shrugged, turning his attention back on the iPad, “You must’ve remembered it wrong, I’ve always had a roommate. It’s so expensive to live on your own in Sapporo.” Jaehyun didn’t know what to say to that, he might’ve really remembered it wrong, a lot of things had happened in between their first meeting and their current relationship, and there was no reason for Yuta to lie about such a small detail.

However, these small details were what stayed at the back of Jaehyun’s mind, even after Yuta had left for the night. The older man was always on his phone at moments when Jaehyun didn’t have his attention, and since Yuta himself had mentioned not having that many friends, he figured it must be this roommate that always kept Yuta occupied. He never spoke about the person though, but then again, Yuta had never spoken about anyone in his life, not his family, and not even his coworkers, except for that one guy, Yuto, Jaehyun recalled, who he replaced as Jaehyun’s tour guide.

Now that Jaehyun had considered it, he really didn’t know much about Yuta except for the things he learned from the man himself in the duration of the trip. Somehow, he thought, those were the only things that mattered anyway.

—

For this particular trip, they were supposed to take the local bus from the terminal, somewhere Jaehyun had never been to, having only taken the subway and express trains at this point, so Yuta had to pick him up from the hotel in the morning.

The Japanese man had showed up ten minutes later than what they’d planned, and that was a first, so Jaehyun couldn’t help the worry that persisted even after Yuta had guided them to the terminal. It didn’t help that the older man looked exhausted, like he’d just been though the grinder, and it was odd, considering they’d just been together the night before.

Yuta was also wearing a turtleneck sweater under his jacket, and it was the first time Jaehyun had seen him wear one, considering how easily irritated his skin was.

Their bags had been a bit on the heavy side, since Jaehyun was sure Yuta had packed too much food again, and he’d brought his mini (but still pretty heavy) tripod in his own bag. That was the only reason he could think of why Yuta would look like he was in pain when he took them from Jaehyun to pass them to the bus attendant.

He was so sure that Yuta had already healed by now, so it bugged him that the other looked worse for the wear. Jaehyun slipped his hand in Yuta’s, noting that they both weren’t wearing gloves today, as they located their designated seats in the bus.

“Do you mind if I sleep for a bit? Wake me up after half an hour, okay?” Yuta had so kindly asked, once they were comfortably seated, head already pillowed against Jaehyun’s shoulder. Now Jaehyun was sufficiently worried. Yuta, always so full of energy, loud and unpredictable, now didn’t even have the strength to stay awake for an entire hour of bus ride.

“Yuta, are you okay? Do you still want to go?”

“I’ll be fine you worrywart. I just didn’t get enough sleep, been thinking about you all night.” the latter adjusted his position so he could send a sleazy wink at Jaehyun, albeit the effect was lost at how tired he looked.

“If you say so…” If Yuta still had the energy to joke around, then he must be fine. Jaehyun reassured himself as he listened to Yuta’s quiet snores, _they would be fine_.

As Yuta had requested, Jaehyun woke him up half an hour before they reached their destination, and Jaehyun had been almost tempted to let the other sleep the entire trip if not for the fact that he’d probably get them hopelessly lost if he took over. These were the moments he wished Yuta could rely on him as much as he relied on Yuta.

Jaehyun felt a swell of affection at the way Yuta rubbed his eyes sleepily, snuggling closer to the younger man as he blinked repeatedly as a way to get rid of the drowsiness. Once he was awake enough, he straightened himself on his seat, and pecked Jaehyun on the lips so hard the latter thought he was going to knock their front teeth out.

“Wow, that was enthusiastic.” Jaehyun had commented, hand settling on Yuta’s thigh.

“I’ve missed you while I was sleeping. I wish I could have you with me every moment of the day.”

Jaehyun would’ve laughed at that, made fun of Yuta for being an over the top sap, but the wistfulness in the other’s tone, the way Yuta’s big eyes looked even bigger with all the fondness for Jaehyun swimming in them, had the younger man reaching for Yuta’s face instead.

He brought the small face closer for a proper kiss, without care for the passengers that were probably gawking at them at this point.

“Then, would you let yourself be mine?” Jaehyun softly asked against Yuta’s lips. And there it was again, the look of defeat on the others’ face, softened only by the smile he put on. If Jaehyun didn’t know that Yuta felt as intensely for him, he would’ve assumed that the other was only humouring him, too kind to properly reject Jaehyun.

But Yuta wore his feelings on his sleeve, and it didn’t take much to see how much Yuta genuinely adored him, still, there were moments when he looked at Jaehyun with a kind of longing that was almost sad, like he was looking at something that he couldn’t have.

“I’ve always been yours.” Yuta responded, already closing in for another kiss.

—

The first thing they did as soon as they reached Noboribetsu was to try the famous jigokudani ramen. Yuta had challenged him to try something above the scale of six out of ten on the heat level, after Jaehyun proudly claimed to have gotten the genetic Korean immunity to spicy food.

He had taken it back seconds after he’d gotten his first bite of course, there was good reason they made spiciness levels adjustable for these noodles. Yuta was quick to pass him a glass of milk which he specifically asked for, before ordering the level eight ramen for Jaehyun, but it didn’t stop a few giggles from escaping once he was sure that Jaehyun wasn’t just going to drop dead from a heart burn.

Jaehyun, completely red from the neck up, did his best to glare at his overenthusiastic companion, but he couldn’t hold the act for long because Yuta was already pushing his own bowl of ramen between them, pushing the ramen from hell to the side in the process.

“Let’s just share mine. Then we can get something else from the menu. Have you tried soft yuba before? Oh you’re gonna love it Jae.”

It had taken all of Jaehyun’s willpower not to pull Yuta into his lap and wrap himself all over the slighter man. There wasn’t a single moment where they weren’t having fun, even at the expense of each other, and yet, Yuta always managed to be oh so kind. Jaehyun didn’t know how he got so lucky; first an all-expenses-paid trip, and he also got to spend it with the most loveable person he’d come to know, who was now his almost-boyfriend (they’d get to the label part pretty soon).

Yuta’s phone had started ringing around this time, and Jaehyun saw him stiffen after seeing the caller ID, before immediately putting his phone on silent.

“Is it your roommate?” The younger man tentatively prodded.

“Ah yeah, probably only wants to check when I’m coming home.”

“What for? He hasn’t gotten his keys back?”

“No, I left him mine. So he likely just wants to make sure when I’ll be back so he can leave it under the matt for me.” Throughout the entire conversation Yuta had kept his eyes on the food, never once looking up to meet Jaehyun’s gaze.

“Then aren’t you taking the call?”

“Later, I want this day to be just about us.” This time Yuta looked up to give Jaehyun a bashful smile.

The younger man took Yuta’s hand in his, startling the latter but only for a short second, before Yuta was intertwining their fingers; something he seemed to love doing judging by the dreamy look in his eyes at the way his smaller hand slotted perfectly into Jaehyun’s. The latter brought their joined hands up to press a kiss on the back of Yuta’s hand, “Just us.” He repeated in a deep voice and Yuta’s pupils dilate in response to his words.

“Should we go see the Oni statues after this?” The older man broke eye contact, and casually suggested as he leaned into Jaehyun’s space.

“Sure, and then we can get souvenirs later. I’m actually glad we decided to come here.”

“And why is that?”

“Because of all the Oni folklores surrounding this town, I feel like we’re in some kind of anime.” Jaehyun had chuckled lightly at his own words, knowing how nerdy that made him sound. But then again, Yuta himself was an absolute nerd, they could just be nerds together.

“That’s what I thought too. When I first came here. I made wishes on nearly every single Oni statue I could find because I thought they’d come to life and grant them.” Yuta giggled, poking Jaehyun’s cheek with his finger. The small gesture was enough to reassure Jaehyun that they were on the same page, they always were. He was sure that if there were any Korean speakers within the vicinity, they’d be snickering at the ridiculous couple the two of them made.

_Couple_. The word made Jaehyun smile unconsciously.

“Should we find the one for lovers then?” They shared a knowing grin at Jaehyun’s suggestion, before bursting into laughter.

Jaehyun had almost forgotten that Yuta was a bit off in the morning, if he hadn’t been reminded of it when they made their way out of the restaurant and Yuta wasn’t hopping in excitement like he always did whenever they decide on something fun to do. He kept a cheery front however, probably in an effort not to worry Jaehyun, but it was easy to see through Yuta’s strained smiles that he wasn’t completely okay.

They did eventually find the couple Oni statue after Yuta had googled for its exact location, they made a wish, still hand in hand, and Jaehyun’s had been for whatever they had to last even after he left Japan. He sincerely hoped that Yuta’s was something along those lines too, since he’d been so uncharacteristically serious about it, only giving Jaehyun an almost forced smile when the latter jokingly asked for him to spill it.

After their little impromptu Oni hunt, they headed to get souvenirs from the traditional wooden shop in the heart of the town. The early sunset meant the shop had been lit in warm lantern lights that made the Oni memorabilia and effigies look more unnervingly realistic. It added a unique charm to the town that Jaehyun wanted to be able to tell through his photographs, so he’d been diligently snapping photos since they’d arrive, all of which had Yuta in them.

The younger man was sure that the easiest way to recall the feelings for each picture was to place Yuta in every single one of them.

Jaehyun found his elusive (Yuta himself had been too excited to get souvenirs since folklores fascinated him) companion half an hour later in the clothing section of the shop. Yuta had been jokingly trying on a red, summer yukata with intricate stitches, his winter jacket had been carelessly thrown over one of the clothing racks.

Yuta looked stunning in red, and Jaehyun was quick to point his camera at a laughing Yuta, who claimed he looked ridiculous in it. He couldn’t be more wrong of course, but Jaehyun was enjoying the sound of his laughter, and the way nearly all his teeth were in full display. He soon joined in on the hysterics, completely susceptible to Yuta’s contagious glee.

But only after he was sure he’d taken the perfect shot to capture the moment.

—

They’d eventually checked in at the inn shortly before dinner. The inn was nothing extravagant, it also wasn’t traditional (an effort to save money) so they actually do get a queen bed this time instead of a double futon. They specifically chose the inn for its unique glass enclosed shared bath that took hot spring water directly from under it, a small luxury they decided they could splurge on.

The only thing had been the showers were shared and were located past the hallway for their floor, a bit of ways from the room they got. But Yuta assured him that it wasn’t something uncommon for accommodations in the area, unless you were willing to pay a small fortune for a night.

The bed looked inviting after a long day travelling and walking around, so Jaehyun didn’t waste a second pulling Yuta with him, ungracefully falling in a heap on the bed, boots and jacket on. The Japanese in Yuta was quick to whine about the boots part but he eventually mellowed in Jaehyun’s hold, laying his head on the younger man’s chest in defeat, “You little rascal.” He groaned anyway, but was only rewarded with a chortle from Jaehyun.

“You love it.” Jaehyun didn’t need to see Yuta’s face to know that the was properly flustered, with the glaring lack of a scathing come back.

It was moments later when Yuta did respond, “I actually really do.” They stayed like that for a while, until Yuta started complaining about being hot with his jacket and needing a good long shower.

“Aren’t you soaking in the bath with me?”

Yuta responded with a small smile, one that looked strained and out of place in Yuta’s very carefree persona.

“Not this time, I’d like to just have a shower and then rest. You can soak and I’ll wait for you here.” This was the second time Yuta was forgoing the chance to try the hot spring waters and it didn’t sit well with Jaehyun. He understood that the other hadn’t been feeling well since morning but if anything, the spring waters was supposed to help him heal.

“But what if we don’t get another chance?”

“Don’t be silly, Jae. You still have a week at most. I promise to go with you next time.” Jaehyun couldn’t help the pout that Yuta had playfully pointed out, before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“Come on, I’ll order in for our dinner, then we can eat in bed and have a long nice evening watching Ghibli movies.” The offer was tempting, and there was no way Jaehyun was saying no to an entire evening cuddling with Yuta so he gave the other a defeated nod, untangling himself from Yuta to remove his jacket and boots.

After ordering for food (they decided on soup curry, something that definitely shouldn’t be eaten in bed) Yuta had volunteered to go first in the showers, eager to wash his hair that’d been flattened against one side of his head during his little nap in the bus.

Jaehyun was left in charge of receiving the food; Yuta had scribbled a simple phrase in Japanese on a piece of paper for him before he left, and Jaehyun took the short solitude as a chance to sit in bed and scroll through the pictures he took for the day. It was a few minutes later when the food arrived, and after taking the food and shakily reciting the phrase Yuta instructed him to, he’d gone back on the bed to continue scrutinising his work only for his attention to be caught by a vibrating sound. It hadn’t been his phone since his was on the table in the middle of the room, and he never put his phone on silent anyway, so he went around looking for where the sound was coming from.

He eventually located the source under a pile of clothes Yuta left on the chair beside his bag. It was Yuta’s phone, a name written in Japanese flashing across the screen. Must be the roommate, he thought with a frown.

Figuring it was none of his business, he left the phone where it was, but made sure to pick up the clothes so Yuta wouldn’t have a hard time looking for his phone when he came back. Interestingly, the caller had been persistent, for fifteen minutes straight, the phone kept vibrating. There should be at least ten missed calls by now, and Jaehyun was ready to ignore the next one too, but the thought that it could be an important call, perhaps an emergency, nagged at the back of his mind.

Eventually, the young photographer have had enough; he picked up the phone and after locking up the room, made his way to where the showers were, figuring Yuta would be already done by then. Not wanting to disturb any other person who may also be using the showers, he let himself inside quietly and quickly found the area where the wash basins should be. He assumed Yuta would be there, drying himself by now.

And he did find Yuta there, in front of one of the mirrors, wearing nothing but a pair of ratty sweats, one delicate hand tracing an ugly bruise around his neck. The bruise was an angry red, with some parts already turning purple, it was obviously new, it hadn’t been there the last time he saw Yuta’s bare neck. An alarming number of smaller, albeit still awful, bruises decorated the older man’s torso, It wasn’t a pretty sight, and it was obvious that it was something that happened regularly judging by the way each bruise were at different healing stages. It made Jaehyun’s chest hurt in a way he’d never forget.

The younger man didn’t realise he’d been holding his breath, until he felt a little lightheaded. This mind was a mess, he didn’t know what to think, where to start. All these time he thought Yuta had been okay, that he really was just a tad clumsy. Yes he had secrets he wasn’t ready to share with Jaehyun yet, but those secrets weren’t supposed to be _this_. Anything but this.

Jaehyun wasn’t stupid, he knew that whoever was causing Yuta pain wasn’t a family member (they were supposedly living in Osaka), and that really only left one other option: a lover. Only a lover would possess the kind of cruel, twisted passion to wrap their hands around someone’s neck with the intention to inflict pain.

He’d been aware that there were many things he still didn’t know about Yuta, but the way this massive revelation had brought light to a lot of Yuta’s eccentricities he’d observed over the course of two weeks stirred something ugly in Jaehyun. And he recognised it immediately, not entirely new to the feeling; betrayal.

Yuta had lied to him; the bruise on his thigh, the broken nails, the phone calls, the curfew, the goddamn _roommate_.

It didn’t take long for Yuta to notice his presence, after all, the room is lined with mirrors and there was no way not to see someone who’d been staring so blatantly like Jaehyun had been. The Japanese man visibly tensed at the sight of Jaehyun, hurriedly covering himself with the towel he had in his other hand. It didn’t help much, Jaehyun had seen enough.

“How long have you been there?” The older man asked, faking nonchalance, but Jaehyun couldn’t have missed the tremor in his voice.

“Someone’s been calling you nonstop.” His voice had come out scratchy. Yuta, who’d been avoiding Jaehyung’s eyes, looked up at this, and immediately reached out for the phone Jaehyun reluctantly held out. Jaehyun recognised fear when he saw it, but Yuta was so good at masking his emotions that it didn’t take him longer than a second to school his expression back to neutral and pocket the device as if he hadn’t just looked at it like it was the bane of his existence.

Yuta looked pitiful at that moment, covered by a cheap hotel towel that was far too small, and with the smallest voice, he uttered the words Jaehyun hadn’t wanted to hear, “Jae, I’m so sorry…” He didn’t look like he had anything else to say, when he steadied himself against the counter, expression regretful. He knew it was selfish of him, but Jaehyun didn’t have it in him to stand in front of the man he came to _love_ , knowing he’d been fooled. So he did what he thought was best to do in that moment, he ran.

Jaehyun had to get his breathing back to normal, were his first thoughts as soon as he reached the hotel lobby. He placed a hand over his chest. The pain was so intense that he could almost feel it physically.

There was a brief, sordid thought that he could be one of the many people Yuta had tricked into falling for him. But then he remembered Yuta’s eyes, so full of affection and kindness, of Yuta’s laughter and his warm hands, and he remembered how Yuta made him feel, those couldn’t all be just an act. All of those moments had been real, and not even lies could invalidate them.

There had been glaring signs everywhere, but being with Yuta was so easy that he ignored all of them. With Yuta, there were no need for questions, and it had been Jaehyun’s choice not to pry into the other’s life, he’d decided that he’d learn things about the other as they go, because Yuta was worth every little step, even if there were thousands of them ahead.

Yuta was Yuta, with or without the shadow of lies behind the big, charming smiles and pleasant nature.

The realisation came fast, and before Jaehyun knew it, he was taking big strides back to the direction he came from, to where he left Yuta.

He found the shorter man in the same exact position, he was already wearing the same turtleneck sweater from this morning, but he hadn’t moved an inch from where he was leaning against the counter. He looked so small with his shoulders hunched, his entire body shaking from the intensity of his sobs that echoed in the empty shower room.

“Yuta,” Jaehyun took a tentative step forward. Yuta looked up right at that moment, eyes wet and puffy with tears, “Jaehyun, please.” He’d never heard Yuta so crushed before, and while Jaehyun wanted truths, he also wanted Yuta, wanted all of him, even the parts of him he hadn’t seen yet. Above all, he wanted to wipe away the tears and distress, his questions could wait, but right now, comfort was what Yuta needed, and Jaehyun would be that for him. His _safe place_.

A little shaken himself, Jaehyun approached the other with outstretched arms. Yuta had looked confused at first, most likely not expecting for Jaehyun to come right back, much less ready to accept him. The older man broke into loud sobs as he practically ran into Jaehyun, burying himself into the taller man’s embrace, looking every bit as broken as he likely was.

—

It hadn’t been easy getting Yuta to calm down, he’d cried as they walked back to their room, cried as Jaehyun tucked him in bed, and cried some more as he held onto Jaehyun’s hand like letting go would break the spell.

Once the tears had stopped, with only the occasional hiccups, he started talking. Most of what Jaehyun had assumed turned out to be right; there really was a lover, one he’d been with for many years now,

_“His name’s Akihito, he’s a salaryman who has the luxury to spend on a boyfriend he introduces to everyone as his nephew.”_ Yuta had explained with a bitter, self-depreciating smile. Jaehyun had been quick to envelope the other in an all encompassing embrace.

“He hurts you. Why can’t you report him? Leave him?” Jaehyun did his best to suppress the anger. The thought of kind, smart and sweet Yuta, Yuta who was infinitely funny and always thoughtful, with a hand-shaped bruise around his neck made him seethe. No one deserved to be hurt like that, much less Yuta.

“It’s not that easy. Everything I have, I have because of him. This,” the older man gestured towards his clothes, “these are all his. My job? His connections. I never even finished high school, Jae…” Jaehyun saw the moment the words got stuck in Yuta’s throat, the struggle to finally let the truth out.

“I ran away from home when I was seventeen. You asked before why Hokkaido? Because it was as far as I can get from Osaka without leaving the country,” another hiccup, “there were no fancy language schools, I learned Korean from hard work and an effort to get away from Akihito. I don’t have my own apartment, I live under his roof because there’s no way I’d survive on my own. All I have, I have because of him.”

A deep breath, before he was looking Jaehyun in the eye with a strange resolution, “I’m not the strong, admirable man you think I am. I’ve been nothing but a coward all these time, a coward who couldn’t even tell you the truth even if that’s what you deserve.”

“You’re not a coward.”

“Jae-“

“The fact that you’re here right now, trying your best to be happy when you think it’s all hopeless anyway. That’s brave, and admirable.” Jaehyun finished with a deep sigh, bringing his hands up to cradle Yuta’s face, thumb gently caressing the tear streaked cheeks, “I’ve been waiting for you to let me in, and while this wasn’t how I’d expected it to be, I’m ready to take all of it, Yuta. I’ll bear the burden with you.”

Yuta shook his head, but said nothing. He pressed his forehead against Jaehyun’s, eyes closed and just breathing in and out in a calming rhythm. It seemed like this was something he did often to comfort himself and the thought that he’d been doing this by himself for so long, taking all the pain on his own, broke Jaehyun’s heart further, if that was even possible.

“Even if it were only for a short time, Jae, you’ve given me so much. You’re so kind, and I don’t deserve you.” Yuta had said in a broken voice, his breath fanning over Jaehyun’s lips.

The younger man shook his head softly, feeling Yuta’s long bangs tickle his nose, “No, you deserve much better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jae is such a sweetheart no? irl Jae is so sweet to Yuta, so I imagined him as someone who will overlook all of the ugly things that come with loving Yuta.
> 
> Anyway, next chapter will be the last one! how will their relationship progress further now that Jae has literally a week left before he has to leave? I hope I do justice to the last chapter xD


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go folks, the beginning of the loooong end. I honestly didn't expect the last chapter to blow up to almost 15k words, but like I said, I wanted to do this series justice because I really do love writing it, and this is based on their actual trip to Otaru so I tried to put as many easter eggs as I can.
> 
> This is completely unedited and I'll get back to it to clean it up as soon as I get the chance, so for now, please excuse any mistakes. I also plan to go through the whole fic and correct/edit some stuff here and there.
> 
> I'm definitely writing an accompanying piece for this AU but in Yuta's POV. Kinda like a character study, cos there's still so much more to him that we haven't tackled in this fic alone, especially his past. And who knows, I might continue this even, just to show a glimpse of their lives post-Hokkaido.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Again, mentioned/implied violence, mature scenes !!! (which I had the hardest time writing so pls be kind)

On Jaehyun’s insistence, they decided to stay another night in Noboribetsu. The last thing he wanted was for Yuta to come back to Sapporo, and come home to that man’s place. A place that brought only fear and pain on his person.

The thought made Jaehyun nauseated. In that apartment, there was no way for Jaehyun to help him, to know if he was alright.

Yuta probably felt the distress radiating from Jaehyun, because he’d wrapped himself around the younger man the next morning, the smothering turtle neck sweater thrown carelessly on the floor, replaced by one of Jaehyun’s more comfortable t-shirts. He nuzzled Jaehyun’s neck, mouthing a good morning, before suggesting they heat up the food from the night before, not wanting it to go to waste.

The reheated food was decent but likely not as good as it should’ve tasted if they had it for dinner the previous night as planned. But that didn’t matter, all Jaehyun wanted was to be with Yuta, to see him safe and happy, as if would rewrite the image he’d conjured of him beaten black and blue back in what should be his home in Sapporo.

“What…” Jaehyun started unsure, clearing his throat to get Yuta’s attention in case his words had been too soft. Yuta looked up from his food, mouth still full with one soggy lotus root, “what made him do that?” The younger man gestured to Yuta’s neck, now on full display.

“Ah. He saw our picture together.” Yuta answered after swallowing his food, a shrug followed, like it wasn’t a big deal.

“How?”

“I put it as my wallpaper.” This definitely took Jaehyun by surprise, he didn’t recall seeing any grainy selfie of them set as Yuta’s home screen. However, the fact that Yuta had been bold enough to do that in the first place was astounding, especially since he was likely aware of the consequences for it.

Jaehyun felt stupid doubting the older man. Yuta had secrets, but his heart had always been an open book.

“You did?”

“Well it’s not there anymore, he deleted it from my phone.” This time Yuta let out a little smile, “at least that’s what he thought he did. I have iCloud storage, you see-“ Jaehyun didn’t let the other finish, simply gathering the other in a soft, long-drawn kiss. It tasted like day-old curry, but that didn’t bother Jaehyun one bit.

“Are you feeling up for another excursion today?” Jaehyun quietly asked after they’d broken apart, face still just millimetres away from Yuta’s.

“I didn’t lie about being fine, I’m really okay. I’ll just need to cover this up,” the Japanese man pointed to his neck, “the last think I want is for people to assume it’s your work.” he said the last part in a softer voice. It was so Yuta, to still care about what people would think of Jaehyun when he himself was hurt.

“Have I told you how amazing you are?” the younger man nuzzled the other’s neck, his voice low.

“Not today, no.”

—

Seeing Jigokudani up close was indescribable, especially in winter. It looked like a huge contradiction, the valley being covered in a thin sheet of snow with geysers erupting periodically in a majestic display. With the steam coming from the hot water that flowed from the cracks on the ground it was amazing that there was even snow at all. The air reeked of sulphur, but still, it was a sight to behold, even viewed only from the observation platform; dangerous but fascinating, it made Jaehyun feel small with all its grandiose.

They took the thirty-minute walking trail to get where they currently stood, in the heart of the valley that supposedly resembled hell. And it did look like it, it appeared so out of this world that it was almost hard to believe that this place was just a stone’s throw away from the main town area. Even with the inconveniences of winter, Jaehyun also felt like they’d manage to make the most out of their trek.

Yuta, eager to show him more of the valley, lead Jaehyun towards what he called the highlight of the valley after the younger man was done photographing the geysers (which had been pretty tricky in an overcast weather to be honest). There had been multiple signs in English along the way, all reading ‘Do Not Enter’, but Yuta didn’t seem all that bothered so Jaehyun trusted Yuta wasn’t actually leading them to their deaths.

When the end of the observation deck was in sight, Jaehyun threw Yuta a look, a silent question that the older man immediately caught on, “This is the Tessen Ike,” he reached out for Jaehyun who was quick to take the gloved hand. They continued on to where the steam came out the strongest, struggling to keep their hands connected with their gloves on, “It’s another geyser, very high iron content but very pretty to look at don’t you think?” they peered over the deck at the same time to watch the small geyser bubble away.

“It’s kinda hypnotic to watch.” Jaehyun observed after a moment.

“Thats what everyone says. This is as close as I can take you to a thrilling hike since they closed off the path to Hiyori-san” At Jaehyun’s confused look, Yuta expanded with a little laugh, “that’s the active volcano that makes all of these possible.” He gestured to the geysers surrounding them.

“I don’t mind, this alone is crazy amazing enough. I can’t wait to tell Johnny and Mark about this, they’ll be so jealous.”

“Maybe you can come back here together next time.” The reminder that they soon would have to say goodbye, with no assurances of seeing each other again soon, had Jaehyun feeling a bit morose. Yuta must’ve also felt the same because his voice had gone quieter, the excitement having bled away.

The thoughts of leaving Yuta on his own again, with someone like Akihito left a bitter taste in Jaehyun’s mouth. He was again reminded that he was powerless against the odds that put Yuta in such a terrible situation. He also knew that dwelling on it would do them no good, so he took a deep breath, taking in the sulphuric air of the valley, before reaching into his pocket. While he was unable to change the bigger picture, he could, however, give Yuta happiness in smaller scales.

Piece by piece, he was going to build Yuta up, until he was ready to fight his own battles.

The Japanese man was none the wiser when he brought their joined hands up, carefully letting go of the smaller hand and taking the glove with it; that got Yuta’s attention. Once he had both hands free, he took off his own gloves, tucked them in his jacket’s pocket and oh so carefully put on a colourful bracelet around Yuta’s wrist to join the stainless steel one the latter already had on. The bracelet was made of woven fabric, with a little charm the shape of the couple Oni hanging from the lock at the back.

Yuta looked flabbergasted for an entire second, his big, round eyes had then softened into little slits as he marvelled the intricate details on the bracelet. He turned his attention to Jaehyun, the beginnings of tears making his eyes shine more than normal, “When did you-?”

“The souvenir shop. When you ditched me to look at some yukata, I found this bracelet and I noticed you liked bracelets. I thought it would look nice on you, and it does.” Jaehyun was pretty sure he looked very satisfied with himself because Yuta, trying his best to hold back his tears, reached up to rub his thumb on the younger man’s cheek, right where his dimple was. Yuta always did get emotional easily.

“You sweet, wonderful, lovely thing.” the shorter man sighed, before engulfing Jaehyun in a hug and pillowing his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder, seemingly not bothered by the fur from the younger’s jacket; it was one of his many quirks, the unique way he made hugs feel more intimate and comforting. Yuta’s hugs were becoming one of Jaehyun’s favourite things.

“Only for the most amazing man.” Jaehyun nuzzled the shorter man’s hair, smelling the subtlest hint of the hotel shampoo he used the night before, and Yuta’s own unique scent. He didn’t want to ever let go of this, Jaehyun quietly thought, holding the other tighter.

“Well that's the second time today.” Yuta mumbled, referring to being called amazing. “Say, would you like to do the hot spring bath after this?” The question surprised Jaehyun who carefully pulled away so he can see Yuta’s face.

“I thought you didn’t want to?”

“There’s no point avoiding it anymore anyway. Let’s go?” with this, Yuta playfully tugged on Jaehyun’s jacket sleeve, before he eventually hooked his arm around Jaehyun’s. Yuta also enthusiastically greeted the people who were openly smiling at their carefree display of affection while Jaehyun’s face burned in embarrassment. At least he could blame it on the heat from the steam.

“They probably thought you just proposed or something.” Only Yuta could make Jaehyun feel so helplessly smitten and mortified at the same time.

—

It wasn’t easy, Jaehyun thought, looking at the colourful bruises littered all over Yuta’s small body without needing to turn away. He had promised Yuta, reassured him, that he was fine seeing them despite the way his skin broke into goosebumps at the thought of how the older man got each one of them. Had he been hit? Were he thrown against walls? Was there a time he’d broken skin?

It didn’t look easy for Yuta too, who looked guilty as if the marks had been his own doing, as if they weren’t the work of some faceless man Jaehyun hoped he’d never get the misfortune of facing, mostly because he didn’t think he could hold himself back from inflicting the same pain. The last thing Yuta needed right now was for Jaehyun to be thrown in Japanese jail halfway through his holiday.

Jaehyun knew that his train of thoughts didn’t help him cope with the fact that the man he adored was hurt, and will be hurt, and there was nothing he could do about it. It wasn’t like he could pluck Yuta out of this mess like it was that simple.

In an effort to steel himself with what he was going to be seeing more in the next few days now that he’d accepted that these were all part of Yuta, he sat at the foot of their bed, watching as the other carefully peeled his clothes off, one at a time.

Jaehyun saw the hesitation, the way Yuta bit his bottom lip, the trembling hands. As soon as the undershirt came off, the taller man reached out, silently asking for Yuta to come closer. The older man approached the bed in tiny steps, and Jaehyun carefully traced one bruise with his fingers, keeping his touch feather light. Yuta had tensed up multiple times, and the younger man almost retracted his fingers in fear that he’d hurt the other, but then realised Yuta was just very ticklish. One more thing to add to his list of reasons to coddle Yuta.

“I’m sorry…” The Japanese man whispered, and Jaehyun looked up in confusion, hands still on Yuta’s midsection as the latter continued, “you shouldn’t have to feel sorry seeing the man you fancy naked, huh?” the statement had been made jokingly but Jaehyun can hear the underlying insecurity.

“Yuta, no” The younger man could see goosebumps where his breath hit Yuta’s skin, “looking at you will never make me sorry, no matter what.” Jaehyun sealed his words by pressing his lips over one of the bruises just above Yuta’s hipbone, and then again on the one beside it, and he continued until Yuta had started running his hands through Jaehyun’s hair, likely in an effort to steady himself.

_His, all his to take_. No lies and no Akihito between them this time. Jaehyun repeated the words in his head as he ran his palms over Yuta’s bare skin, sliding them on his sides and up his back where he felt the other shiver under his touch, “You’re beautiful Yuta.” Jaehyun said with an air of finality, and when he was sure that Yuta didn’t have it in him to protest any further, he pressed his cheek against the bare stomach.

“Always so smooth. Don’t hold it against me if I fall for you.” Yuta’s words sounded muffled with one of Jaehyun’s ears occupied with the random noises from the Japanese man’s belly. “And what are you listening to my stomach for? That’s kinda disgusting.” Yuta giggled, lightly pushing Jaehyun’s face away but to no avail, the man’s hold could rival a koala’s.

“No way, told you nothing about you can disgust me. I can listen to your stomach acid for an hour straight, I’ll even put it on my playlist.” The older man threw his head back in laughter, and Jaehyun looked up at the right moment to appreciate Yuta’s long neck (albeit discoloured with bruises) and the way his collarbones didn’t jut out sharply despite him being alarmingly skinny.

“Okay that’s some weirdass kink, no wonder you were single.” Jaehyun felt Yuta lean down to press a kiss on the crown of his head, before continuing, “Let’s head to the baths?”

Jaehyun didn’t need to be told twice. He was already out the door in only his yukata before Yuta could even finish tying his. The latter came out of the room after him with their towels that Jaehyun completely forgot about in his arms, “not just a weirdo, forgetful too. You are younger than me, aren’t you?” He grumbled, but fondly ruffled Jaehyun’s hair anyway.

They wanted to share the baths with as few people as possible, so they’d rested in the room first and had their early dinner. It was now an hour before midnight, and most guests at the inn were either already resting or had finished bathing, at least that was what Yuta assumed to be the case. They were lucky that the guests did stick to their supposed routine because the bath was mostly empty when they entered save for two people by the far end of it. The glass walls was facing the otherworldly landscape of Jigokudani, visible under the reflected light from moon.

At night, it looked like a desolate land that was a fitting setting for a survival movie. It was nevertheless beautiful, especially viewed from inside the comforts of a warm inn while submerged in hot spring water. Jaehyun had a bit of experience from his first time trying the onsen in their last trip, but it didn’t make it any less awkward being completely naked only a foot away from the man you had the hots (and _feelings_ ) for.

Yuta looked mostly unaffected, or he was just really good at playing his feelings down, because his attention was on the view outside, resting his arms over the edge of the bath while keeping his back towards the two remaining patrons soaking with them. It was likely an attempt to hide the bruises on his body, something he was incredibly conscious of and for good reason.

Jaehyun inched closer to the other (despite his reservations), “Something on your mind?” the question didn’t startle the other like what he thought, so Yuta was definitely paying attention to his surroundings despite appearing aloof.

“Yeah, about how it would be like when you leave.” the straightforward answer somehow caught Jaehyun off guard, “wait, that sounded too depressing.” For the first time since they got in the bath, Yuta faced him, light blush on his face from the steam and his long bangs sticking to his face. _He looked like a wet dog, no, a cat. Yuta looked like a wet cat_ , Jaehyun thought, nearly breaking into a smile.

“Come here.” Jaehyun quietly took Yuta’s hand from where it was resting, pulling the other closer. He was aware they had spectators but he became terrible at being proper since Yuta came along, “you know this isn’t good bye right? You’ll still have me, even if I’m in Seoul. I’ll visit you often, and then—“ Yuta stopped the younger with a finger to his lips.

“Wait Jae, I really didn’t mean it like that. Don’t feel guilty about not being here. I don’t want you using all your hard earned money to keep flying back to Hokkaido.” Yuta reached out, brushing Jaehyun’s hair, only just a little damp, away from his face, “we’ll figure it out together.”

The taller man reached up to grab the hand that had been lovingly caressing his face, rubbing circles on Yuta’s palm with his thumb. They were definitely too close for comfort now, and whatever front they were trying to put up was completely forgotten. They’d move while they were too engrossed with each other, and Jaehyun now had his back to the remaining men in the bath with them.

“They’re staring at us, we’re probably making them uncomfortable.” Yuta whispered in between giggles, as if the men (middle aged if he judged them correctly) could understand their hushed Korean, and it was so unlike him, to be having fun at other people’s expenses that Jaehyun raised a brow, “Oh come on. One of them has been ogling you since we got here. I’d rather they leave soon.”

“Are you sure you’re not imagining that?” Jaehyun’s laugh came out low and Yuta took the chance to get closer and nuzzle his nose against Jaehyun’s jaw. Jaehyun couldn’t help the shiver down his spine.

“I think they’ve never seen someone with such fair skin before. Can’t blame them but I still don’t appreciate the staring.”

“Maybe they just want to know my beauty secret.” they looked each other in the eye for a solid second before bursting into full blown laughter, no longer trying to be quiet. Yuta got what he wanted because only a few minutes later, the two men climbed out of the bath, one of them letting out an audible sigh, most likely at their shameless display.

“What a disgrace to the Japanese, where’s your manners Yuta?” The younger man smiled while watching Yuta playfully wave goodbye at the men’s retreating naked backs.

“Well, as far as they’re concerned I’m Korean. Now this is what we call a quality time.” With that, Yuta practically threw his entire self onto Jaehyun, who wrapped his arms around the other’s incredibly small waist, Yuta’s leg sliding in between his, he hoped by accident.

“Are you seriously getting a hard on from my leg or did you stash a brick under there?” The shorter man barely dodged the water that was meant to splash him right in the face. Jaehyun was glaring at him but it hardly had any effect with the way his entire face was red with embarrassment or the steam (it was hard to tell by now), and the way he was still holding Yuta around the waist.

“I need to be a little less sober for this.” Jaehyun whined, laying his head on Yuta’s narrow shoulder, giving up the fight to keep their bath time as wholesome as possible, in fact he thought, he lost the fight the moment he laid eyes on Yuta’s interesting curves underneath his baggy clothes.

They stood flushed against each other, Yuta’s legs still tangled with his underwater, while the latter’s fingers danced over Jaehyun’s naked back, drawing lazy patterns that did nothing to help Jaehyun’s growing erection.

“Then do you wanna get drunk with me tonight? I may or may not have bought a few cans of beer earlier.”

Jaehyun let out a little breathless grumble, knowing this was as far as his self restraint could take him.

—

By a few cans, Yuta meant just four cans of convenience store beer, and while they were this super strong kind that the Japanese deemed safe enough to consume despite tasting like cyanide, they were hardly enough to get them drunk. Tipsy, yes, but definitely not drunk.

Jaehyun’s mind was clear as day when he watched Yuta slip his yukata off, climbing into their bed completely naked. He was kind of glad that he wasn’t drunk enough to forget to pull the curtains close.

The taller man still had his yukata on, but it hardly concealed skin anymore with the way it hang off his shoulders and were pushed up all the way to his thighs. He was, predictably hard under the bunched up fabric on his lap, and Yuta was most definitely aware of his effect on Jaehyun by the way his hooded eyes languidly ate up every inch of fair skin on display.

He slowly climbed into Jaehyun’s lap, his bare body only for the younger man to see. He leaned in for a quick peck on the lips “Is it okay if I touch you?” He asked against Jaehyun’s lips, as if it wasn’t obvious that he was as desperate to reach out and take all of Yuta for himself.

“More than okay, I definitely insist you do.” Yuta snorted at his words before he eventually reached down to wrap his dainty fingers around Jaehyun, going at a pace he knew was just enough to get Jaehyun squirming in place but not enough to bring him to completion.

“Do you…” Yuta breathed, already touching himself with his other hand. Jaehyun watched Yuta work, mesmerised, “do you want to finish in me?” The older man continued softly, and the words left Jaehyun lightheaded with arousal. But there was one thing he wanted to do for Yuta, and he’d be damned if he let lust cloud his judgement.

“What do you say about finishing _in me_ , instead?”

“Wha- are you serious?” Yuta’s eyes had doubled in size, he’d stoped his ministrations on both of them and had completely gone still.

“When was the last time you did it?”

“What, you mean sex?”

“No, I mean giving it. When was the last time you didn’t have to be at the receiving end?” Jaehyun was aware that he was probably killing the mood and that you weren’t supposed to be talking this much during sex but this was something he wanted Yuta to have. A moment where he was in control, to be in the position of power, something he likely hadn’t had for a long time.

Judging by the confusion and subsequent realisation on Yuta’s face, Jaehyun thought he wasn’t completely off the mark.

“Not in a while.” Yuta quietly answered, sounding insecure for the first time since they got in bed together.

“Do you not want to?”

“I do! I mean, of course I do Jae. But I’m not entirely sure what to do and I want you to feel good for our first time.”

“And I want you to feel just as good. I trust you Yuta, and I want you to do it.”

The older man didn’t need much convincing after that, because he was nodding in agreement before long. Reaching out for the bottle of lube and packets of condom he so brazenly bought with the beers (according to him at least), Yuta climbed off Jaehyun’s lap, arranging both of them in the most comfortable position. After rolling the condom over his and Jaehyun’s erections, he grabbed a pillow from somewhere, shoving it towards the younger man, _‘here, put this under your hips, it’ll make you more comfortable.’_

Jaehyun wanted to assure Yuta that this was far from his first time with a man, he’d had his fair share of boyfriends back in the states but the almost comical determination in Yuta had him keeping his words to himself. Yuta, as he’d expected, was gentle, thoughtful in his touch that there wasn’t a single moment where Jaehyun didn’t feel cared for.

The older man prepared him with utmost care, meeting Jaehyun’s eyes every few seconds to make sure he wasn’t overdoing it. When he finally pushed into the taller man with a tiny grunt, he was quick to press a kiss against Jaehyun’s sweaty forehead, whispering words of reassurances. Jaehyun had a moment to ponder if Yuta had ever been given the same treatment during sex, if he was ever asked how he was doing, if his comfort had ever been put into consideration. The fact that it was likely not the case made Jaehyun tear up.

“Jae, are you okay? You’re crying…” Yuta kissed the tears that escaped from Jaehyun’s eyes, and the latter responded by wrapping his arms around Yuta’s shoulders, legs tightening around Yuta’s small waist. The older man’s hand was still working around Jaehyun’s erection, but the shallow, experimental thrusts had stopped completely.

“I’m fine. I’m just happy that it’s you I’m doing this with.”

_‘Even if it breaks my heart how little I can do for you’_

“Don’t cry Jae, everything will be alright, I promise.” If Jaehyun didn’t know better, he’d think Yuta knew exactly what was going around in his head. There was a chance that he did know, it was Yuta after all, and Jaehyun hadn’t been able to hide a thing from the older man since they met.

“You should probably move now. I don’t want you going soft in me.”

“Never gonna happen.” The words were sealed with a fleeting, close-mouthed kiss to Jaehyun’s jaw, before Yuta started picking up the pace.

It had been amazing, the sensation of Yuta moving in him, and the feel of his own flesh giving way to Yuta, moulding around his length brought Jaehyun closer to the edge with every rock of their body. Before he knew it, he was clenching around the smaller man, and he watched in an intoxication-like daze as Yuta’s breath hitched, fascinated with his expression of pure bliss as he came into the thin layer of latex that separated them.

Jaehyun knew he was near as well, cupping Yuta’s face with his hands as he pulled the other closer for a long-drawn kiss; Yuta never once faltering with his ministrations despite the tremors in his limbs

“Mine, mine…” Jaehyun murmured against slightly chapped lips, trembling as he came. He felt exposed and vulnerable but only to Yuta; not an ounce of care for the world outside the two of them.

—

Going back to Sapporo was hard, especially after the intimate development of their relationship over their last trip. It was especially hard for Jaehyun who knew what kind of place Yuta was coming back to, but had no clue to the extent of danger the other faced on a daily basis.

Yuta knew of Jaehyun’s worries, and he was always quick to remind the younger man that he wasn't as weak as he looked. It was a bit sad that between the two of them, Yuta had to do the comforting, but he always did it best; he knew just the right words to put Jaehyun’s mind at ease.

Since they’d arrived in Sapporo late at night, the younger man reluctantly agreed to part ways at the subway station, his backpack already slung over one shoulder but not the least bit ready to let go of the hand that kept his glove-less hand warm. He still couldn’t help how his eyes were drawn to the bruise around Yuta’s neck that he hadn’t bothered to cover anymore.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” The Japanese man didn’t need to tiptoe to press a wet kiss on Jaehyun’s cheek with his thick-heeled boots. Jaehyun was already missing the small details (their height difference for one) he came to enjoy whenever they were alone in the safety of their hotel room, far from the demons that haunted Yuta, their bare feet rubbing against each other as they cuddled the cold away.

“Promise to text me when you get home, and first thing in the morning.”

“I promise. Now stop being a worrywart.”

In his defence, Jaehyun did try not to worry after he’d arrived in his hotel room. He did his best to lead his thoughts away from what could be happening to Yuta right at the moment; the latter did after all assure him through text that Akihito had been asleep when he got back, and therefore was in no condition to be all over Yuta.

Hours spent apart from Yuta had become almost unbearable, Jaehyun having already gotten used to his presence. The mere thought that in less than a week they’d have an entire ocean between them with no immediate access to each other like they did now was enough to keep Jaehyun up that night.

In just over two weeks, Yuta had reminded him how it was like to _live._ He had been led outside of his comfort zone and since then he’d never once wanted to look back. Jaehyun had never before felt this strongly for anyone, and it scared him in a way, the effect Yuta had on him, but on the other hand he couldn’t be more thankful to the older man for showing him how an all-consuming love felt like.

Just like that, Jaehyun reached a realisation that there was no way, absolutely no way, he would leave Yuta like this, not even if he had to fight tooth and nail for him. He would do everything in his power to make sure Yuta was happy and safe.

With a kind of headstrong conviction he hadn’t felt in a long time (not since he left everything he had in America to move to Seoul), he picked up his iPad and went to work on the only solution he could think of.

—

True to his words, Yuta messaged him at exactly six in the morning, always the early bird that he was. His text had actually woken Jaehyun up; he normally didn’t have problems getting up early but overthinking had made him lose precious sleep the night before.

They exchanged a few messages between Jaehyun getting out of bed (with much effort) and freshening up in the bathroom. By the time he felt the first pangs of hunger, after getting comfortable on the couch watching the news in Japanese, there was a soft knock on the door. Jaehyun didn’t need to check to know who was behind the door, so he practically sprinted to it, opening it way too fast for it to look casual.

Yuta stood behind the door, holding a paper bag in one hand. His massive company issued backpack was missing and instead he had a messenger bag slung over one shoulder. The bomber jacket he wore their entire trip had been replaced by a long wool coat that looked a little too thin for Sapporo’s winter.

“I hope you haven’t had breakfast, but knowing you, you definitely haven't.”

Jaehyun had been all too happy to pull him in the hotel room by the hand after taking his boots off, noting the absence of the usual gloves and the freezing cold hands. The younger man took Yuta’s other hand after the latter had deposited the paper bag on the table, bringing both the smaller hands to his face to blow warm air on them before pressing kisses on each knuckle.

“I missed you.”

“We just saw each other last night.” Yuta snorted but his eyes had lit up at Jaehyun’s words, and he happily accepted the kiss Jaehyun sprung on him, indulging the other with his own tongue while occasionally nibbling on the younger man’s soft, full lips.

“You taste like toothpaste. Did you just get out of bed?” Yuta breathed against Jaehyun’s lips after they’d broken apart, but still refusing to leave each other’s personal space.

“And you already taste like coffee. Come to bed with me.”

The older man didn’t waste time putting his bag away and shedding his coat off to climb into bed and over Jaehyun, who just got settled on his back in just his boxers and a t-shirt. He was pulled into another make out session that lasted a little longer than their last.

Breathless and lips swollen, they reluctantly parted after Yuta whined about the food getting cold soon, “Really Yuta? You care more about the food when you have me under you?”

“Oh come on you big baby, I normally wouldn’t mind staying in bed with you the entire day but I brought something special. I made them this morning specially for you.”

There was no way Jaehyun could just ignore something as sincere as that, so despite being uncomfortably half hard in his boxers, he let Yuta leave his lap to grab two containers from inside the paper bag on the table. The smell that wafted to Jaehyun as soon as Yuta opened the lip had been almost divine, especially since he hadn’t had anything to eat since he was unceremoniously woken up at six. Now it made sense why Yuta was up so early himself.

“Takoyaki, I made the version I remember my mom making back in Osaka.” The Japanese man said sombrely. It was obvious how much he missed the mother he hadn’t seen in almost a decade. But the look was gone as soon as it came, and instead, an awkward smile took its place as he proudly showed Jaehyun the content of his little food container.

“It looks good Yuta. I had no idea you can cook.”

“Oh I can’t, this is like the only thing I can make.” Jaehyun had been expecting the other to hand the container and chopsticks to him but instead, Yuta got settled back in his lap and began feeding him.

“To what to do I owe this honour?” Jaehyun playfully asked after making sure he didn’t choke on a slightly too big piece of octopus.

“What? I just wanna pamper you, like you do to me.”

“Wow, I must’ve done something great in my past life.” They shared a laugh, a takoyaki flavoured kiss and a long drawn hug after finishing the food. Yuta also took the chance to tell him that he’d like to bring Jaehyun to a nice restaurant for dinner later (which explained Yuta’s outfit), but until then, they had the entire day to be all over each other.

When Jaehyun had to awkwardly clamber off the bed to take a (cold) shower, Yuta had playfully looked him up and down, before kindly offering to help him take care of his _problem_. Jaehyun had never said yes so fast in his life before.

—

Yuta had taken him to a nice sushi restaurant downtown for dinner, and had even gotten them sake to drink with their sashimi. The experience was luxurious, something Jaehyun was sure cost at least a small fortune, but Yuta insisted on paying.

_“What is this, first the takoyaki and now this? Are you properly wooing me?”_ Jaehyun laughed but the way Yuta’s face burned at the suggestion made it seem like his joke was closer to home than he thought.

They’d eventually gotten back to the hotel a little before midnight, and Jaehyun was in the middle of panicking over the fact that Yuta was going to miss the last train when the latter gave him a sheepish smile, _‘I can stay the night with you, if you don’t mind’_.

And Jaehyun most definitely didn’t mind, in fact, he’d been all too happy to make space in his double bed to accommodate Yuta after they’d both stripped down to their boxers, with Yuta opting to wear one of Jaehyun’s sweaters to bed because he got easily cold (Jaehyun knew he just liked how it smelled after he caught Yuta sniffing the collar for the fifth time that night).

The younger man didn’t need to ask Yuta for permission when he wrapped his arm around the small waist, pulling the other flush against his chest. Yuta was silent for a moment, before he turned his head to the side to give Jaehyun a kiss on the lips, brief but meaningful, especially after today.

“I wish I can have you.” Yuta muttered, sounding a little distant. Jaehyun’s heart ached for a reason he didn’t understand.

“You already have me, you don’t even need to ask.”

The smaller man’s eyes fluttered close in response to the younger’s words, turning back to face forward and away from Jaehyun. The latter took the chance to nuzzle the short hair on the back of Yuta’s neck, trying his best to ignore the still visible bruises that had started to fade into a sickly shade of yellow.

“Love you…I love you, Yuta.” Jaehyun whispered softly, once he was sure that Yuta’s breathing had evened out.

—

Their next destination was Otaru, it was something they planned as early as their first meeting, in fact it was probably the only destination they planned in advance. They would be there for a good three days, something Jaehyun had been ecstatic about; three days with Yuta meant three days that Yuta would be away from his abusive _lover_. The word still left a bitter taste in Jaehyun’s mouth despite knowing that the label didn’t extend past a fucked up relationship that Yuta hadn’t found the courage to escape.

Travelling to Otaru had been a breeze, a forty minute long train ride with Yuta cozied up against him with a warm fleece blanket they got from the convenience store on their laps. Yuta hadn’t gone back home since he crashed at Jaehyun’s hotel room, so he had to borrow Jaehyun’s clothes and get a few other essentials at the stores before they left. They ended up having lunch at the station, the colourful selection of bento boxes available had been irresistible. By the time they boarded the train to Otaru, the sun was already hanging over the horizon, illuminating Sapporo in a golden hue; a colour too out of place in a city dominated by the blue of winter.

Yuta had covered them up with the blanket, watching in silence as sceneries faded into darkness, the distant lights from street lamps lulling them both into a sense of security. Under the blankets, Jaehyun held Yuta’s hand tight and sure.

“What do you want to do first when we arrive?” Yuta had been the first to break the silence, keeping his gaze on the window.

“It would already be too dark to do anything else but get food and walk around.”

“Alright, that sounds fun.” Yuta turned towards Jaehyun with a playful smile.

“Anything sounds fun for you.”

“If it’s with you, of course.” Jaehyun reached out with his other hand to pinch Yuta’s nose, eliciting an annoyed grunt from the other.

“That’s for being a terrible flirt,” Yuta tried to brush the hand away from his face but only succeeded in engaging Jaehyun in a mini tug of war before hastily losing and getting another pinch on the nose, “and that’s for being the most adorable thing ever.” Yuta, despite the red nose, looked at Jaehyun with only fondness in his eyes.

When they reached the city centre where the famous canal was, the wind was bitter cold and heavy snow had started falling. Normally it would’ve been a big inconvenience to them, but this time they decided to travel light, with only Yuta’s messenger bag, the fleece blanket and Jaehyun’s backpack on them. The latter hadn’t bothered to pack his tripod with him this time, having no plans of photographing anything that wasn’t Yuta.

Since Yuta was wearing a long coat that didn’t look as warm as his usual getup, Jaehyun had removed his own scarf and wrapped it around the shorter male’s neck. Yuta was quick to pout at the action, insisting that Jaehyun needed the scarf more than he did before he eventually relented after Jaehyun used the highly effective dimples and puppy eyes combo.

The view at the walkway was incredible, the entire area was illuminated with thousands of candles carefully placed in hand-carved ice candle holders, some of them on the snow along the walkway. There were mini ice sculptures that were too endearingly made Jaehyun had to stop and appreciate them. Yuta helpfully supplied that these carvings and sculptures were made by volunteers rather than professionals, a far cry from Sapporo’s most famous attraction.

What stood out the most however were the glass-encased candles floating along the canal, giving the scene a magical feel. Jaehyun took a few self indulging pictures of Yuta backdropped by warm candlelights, before he caught up with Yuta’s pace, who had no clue he almost left Jaehyun behind.

“This is so beautiful I can’t believe it.” Jaehyun whispered, still unable to believe such a small city that was relatively unpopular amongst foreign tourists (according to Yuta at least) would have this much character. The entire place looked like a piece of artwork worthy of being display at the Louvre.

“It is, isn’t it? This was the first place I visited when I moved to Hokkaido.”

“Was that why you took me here? Have you been planning to pursue me from day one?” Jaehyun chortled, wrapping his arm around Yuta when he saw the latter shiver at a particularly strong gust of wind.

“No silly. Well I thought you were really handsome and had a nice pair of dimples but that’s it. Rather, I wanted to boost tourism for Otaru, you see.” The shorter man was silent for a few seconds before he continued, “There’s just too many incredible sights in Hokkaido that it’s so easy to overlook a quaint little seaside city that has so much to offer but doesn’t have as much opportunity to be seen.”

“Sounds like a romantic place to have our sixteenth date.” Jaehyun said the words with a teasing smile directed at Yuta. The latter scoffed but smiled right back.

“Did you seriously start counting from our first meeting?”

“Well you did ask me out to a cat cafe of all places.”

“I like cats, what about it?” the high pitched scream Yuta let out when the younger man poked him on his side with all the intent to tickle was one Jaehyun would remember for the rest of his life.

—

Their accommodation was conveniently in the heart of the city centre, so sightseeing wasn’t as taxing as their previous trips, they also agreed to take it easy so there was no running around climbing mountains or catching taxis to some deserted location — this time, the trip was about them. But mostly, it was about Yuta.

So far, they’d always followed what Jaehyun wanted to do, but for this trip, the younger man wanted it to be about what Yuta wanted, something Jaehyun needed the other to know was just as important. So they did everything on Yuta’s own list; they got Hokkaido speciality ice cream in the dead of winter, visited the city museum and spent almost the entire morning there just laughing at inappropriate jokes and getting the lamest looking souvenirs. As always, they got a lot of attention from fellow visitors for all the wrong reasons but Jaehyun was used to that by now.

The late afternoon found them walking hand in hand in the infamous Sakaimachi street lined with historical buildings restored to house a vast collection of unique, hand made Japanese crafts, snacks and basically anything one can think of. They wandered into a cafe or two to get the largest iced coffee available (for Yuta) while Jaehyun did his job of keeping the other warm with one-armed hugs when his choice of dessert and beverage got him shivering under his coat.

They were about to head back to their hotel to retire early for the evening (mostly, Jaehyun didn’t want Yuta catching pneumonia because he was too stubborn to care that it was winter), when Yuta stopped in his tracks, pulling Jaehyun by the hand towards another old building, a sign in Japanese hanging over the stone archway entrance.

The entrance opened up into a massive hall filled with an exquisite selection of music boxes in all shapes and sizes, displayed all over the entire space of a two-storey building that was definitely bigger than it looked from the outside. The place, which turned out to be the famous music box museum, had the traditional cottage feel with its wooden interior, lit with fairy lights hanging from the high ceilings and rustic looking bulbs at the end of each. Music, which Jaehyun recognised to be Canon D, played in the background so softly that it was almost overpowered by the general chatter of the crowd around them.

There were definitely more people in this building than Jaehyun had seen outside it.

“This place is pretty popular, I think some people go to Otaru just to visit this museum.” Yuta grinned at him, all pretty and soft-looking bathed in the warm fairy lights. He pulled the taller man into a section of the hall where a collection of more interesting looking music boxes were arranged in a row. Little carrousels in different colours, and the particularly eye-catching miniature replica of a vintage ferris wheel.

Yuta had grabbed what looked like a round, wooden platform with a tiny version of Big Ben in the centre and a London taxi making rounds around the entire platform as the music played. He urged Jaehyun to come closer so they could listen to it together, and they did the same thing for about four more music boxes until one caught Jaehyun’s attention, a clear miniature piano; one that played the tune of When You Wish Upon a Star. They listened to that one together a lot longer than all other ones before it combined.

They went up the second floor to see more of the older music boxes and the original mechanisms that were displayed as part of its history. Yuta disappeared on him for a good few minutes to use the washroom, and Jaehyun busied himself taking pictures of the antique boxes until Yuta rejoined him, snuggling into his side like a cat in much need of warmth.

By the time they’d completely gone around the museum, it was already almost closing time, and they had to scurry out in giggles after realising they lost track of time yet again. Jaehyun paused by the main entrance, remembering about the little piano he wanted to get, but was also reminded of the excessively long queue at the check-out counter. He didn’t want to inconvenience the staff and Yuta by overstaying so he shrugged, making a mental note to come back the next day.

They heard a pleasant melody playing just outside the museum, and it definitely wasn’t coming from the inside, so following Yuta’s lead, they made their way to what looked like an old clock, one Jaehyun completely missed when they first went into the museum. It stood about five metres high, and looked like something that belonged in 18th century.

Jaehyun was caught off-guard by the whistle that blew from it and the steam the followed when it struck six, and Yuta shook their joined hands to get his attention, “Amazing isn’t it? It was actually a gift from Vancouver. It’s newer than it looks, and the exact same clock is in Vancouver, I wish I could see that one in my lifetime.”

“I’m sure you will, you still have your entire life ahead of you.” Jaehyun responded gently, looking into Yuta’s face but seeing nothing but an earnest expression that seemed to carry the weight of something Jaehyun could only wish to understand.

“I hope so.” Yuta smiled, a little pensive, before he reached into his messenger bag, taking out a small paper bag, letting go of Jaehyun’s hand so he could hold the bag with both of his, pressing it towards Jaehyun with much care. The taller man stared at the bag in confusion, immediately recognising the logo from the music box museum. He took out the box inside the bag, lifting the cover to see the small piano he’d wanted to get inside, cushioned with packaging paper. He looked up and into Yuta’s awaiting eyes, unsure what to say.

“I know it’s very early, but happy birthday Jaehyun.” Yuta said, with the softest of smiles, one that had his eyes turning into little crescents, one that hit different from his regular ones.

“H-how did you?”

“Oh, yeah, your profile.” The older man laughed meekly, scratching his cheek in a manner that was almost too cute for Jaehyun’s poor heart.

“I love it, thank you,” Jaehyun made sure that the piano had been tucked safely back in the box and the bag out of the way before he pulled Yuta into a bone crushing hug, trailing kisses on the other’s neck, jaw and on the sides of his face. Yuta squirmed in his hold, but only so he could free his hands and wrap them just as tight around Jaehyun’s waist while he let the younger man pepper him with affection in front of the small crowd of people gathered around the clock.

The clock had started playing another music box piece, slower than the last one, and the younger of the two pulled away for a quick second, an impish smile on his face, “Listen to that. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect music to slow dance to?”

Yuta let out a boisterous laugh in response, obviously finding the idea kind of silly but always down to do whatever stupid thing Jaehyun came up with. He laid his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder, letting the taller man sway them to the melody they could hardly hear over the general noise of the busy street and loud chatter from the crowd. Jaehyun was pretty sure they were getting more than a few disapproving stares by now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not with Yuta in his arms, pliant and warm as he spun them around for the second verse.

They really were getting bolder by the day, the younger thought wistfully, and it was a huge feat for someone who used to be so closed off and reserved like Jaehyun had been.

“I should be the one thanking you, Jae.”

—

No time was wasted when they got back to their hotel room, with Jaehyun cornering Yuta against the door in his haste to attach his lips on the other’s neck. The moans Yuta had let out were enough drive Jaehyun crazy with lust, helping Yuta shrug off his coat, his thick scarf and boots (almost tripping in the process) with rabid urgency.

Yuta clambered into the bed while Jaehyun stripped in a speed that was unheard of, throwing his clothes haphazardly on the carpeted floor before following the older male into bed in just his boxers. Jaehyun pulled impatiently on the jeans that Yuta was having a hard time unbuttoning, and eventually succeeded getting them and Yuta’s boxers off in one go. He took one long look at the oversized white hoodie Yuta had stolen from his luggage in Sapporo, and decided that that one piece could stay, verbalising his thoughts in a way that made Yuta blush like never before.

Yuta, lying on his back and head resting comfortably on the soft pillows, hooked one leg around Jaehyun’s hip, pulling the other closer (and making him stumble in an unsightly way). Jaehyun steadied himself with both hands on either side of Yuta’s small head, before he dipped down to nibble on the older male’s lips, the kiss immediately turning wanton.

“Jae, Jaehyun…fuck me…” Yuta panted between their lips, reaching out to wrap his hands around the other’s neck, fingers playing with the short hair on Jaehyun’s nape. He bucked his hips up, his impatience palpable, and Jaehyun didn’t disappoint when he brought his hips down in response, delighting in the way their erections rubbed against each other through the thin material of Jaehyun’s boxers.

“Gladly.”

Yuta’s words had definitely ignited a fire in the younger man that was so intense he could feel it on the tips of his fingers as he trailed them on Yuta’s sides before reaching towards the nightstand where he stashed the lube and the condoms just the night before.

Once he was satisfied with the amount of lube that coated his fingers, Jaehyun reached down to very carefully prepare the slighter man, his impatience never even once clouding his desire to make Yuta feel as comfortable as physically possible. One of Yuta’s legs, still wrapped around his waist, twitched in response every time he hit a particular spot with his finger, very soon being joined by a second one, and then a third one that had Yuta’s back curving off the bed.

The hands around his neck now fisted his hair like some kind of a leverage, any other time, Jaehyun would’ve pried the fingers away from his locks, but he needed to feel all of Yuta right now, even if it meant getting his hair pulled along the way.

By the time he deemed Yuta ready, the latter was already on the verge of begging, Jaehyun’s name falling from his lips like mantra, “Jae, I’m ready, Jae, please…” and Jaehyun dutifully responded with a wet kiss right on the corner of the beautiful man’s lips.

Pushing his boxers down to his thighs, Jaehyun rolled the condom on and slathered himself with more lube. He positioned himself between Yuta’s legs, the latter’s hand letting go of Jaehyun’s hair to grab the younger man’s wrist, guiding him closer, his erection bumping against Yuta’s entrance in the process.

After a few experimental thrusts, Jaehyun finally pushed with more intent, breaching Yuta in one go. Jaehyun watched Yuta’s face for any sign of pain, and if he did feel any, he was very good at keeping it in because he simply urged Jaehyun by rolling his hips as he waited for the latter to slide the rest of the way in.

Yuta let out a shaky breath as soon as Jaehyun had completely bottomed out, both of them pausing for a good few seconds before the older male tightened his hold on the other’s wrist, “You can move now.”

“Are you sure?” Yuta’s eyes had softened in response to the question, but a quick nod coupled by the way his his other leg joined the first one to form a cage just above Jaehyun’s hips were enough encouragement for the younger man.

What started as shallow, careful thrusts that elicited only more begging from Yuta slowly turned urgent and erratic. Every time Jaehyun’s hips snapped forward to bury himself deeper into the Yuta, the latter let out a throaty moan that fuelled Jaehyun’s pace, despite feeling the beginnings of strain on his thighs. His free hand snaked between them, wrapping his long fingers around Yuta, and he was rewarded with a pleased sigh and other’s smaller body writhing under him as his climax neared.

Yuta’s entire body tightened, his heels digging into the mattress while his other hand still buried in Jaehyun’s locks pulled at them just enough to send pinpricks of pain down Jaehyun’s spine. He let go of Jaehyun’s wrist so his fingers could join Jaehyun’s on his erection, eager for more friction. Yuta spilled all over their joined hands and the hoodie, his entire body shuddering.

Jaehyun wasn’t far behind, throwing his head back as he felt the familiar heat coiling in his belly. Yuta, weak from his own orgasm, pulled him down by the neck ever so gently, locking their lips in a kiss, tongue licking over the ridge on the roof of Jaehyun’s mouth. Jaehyun reluctantly turned away to bury his face in the other’s neck, smothering his low, guttural groans in the hoodie Yuta was still wearing as he jerked his hips sporadically, coming into cheap latex.

The taller man slowed his thrusts into shallow jerks, riding out the rest of his orgasm as his body spasmed from the overwhelming pleasure. Yuta’s arms were still wrapped around him, trembling yet a firm presence. Not wanting to put his entire weight on Yuta, Jaehyun rolled on his side, detangling Yuta’s arms around him and pulling out as gently as he was capable of in the process. He gathered the other in his arms with a tender kiss to his forehead, and Yuta winced at being manhandled, still sensitive but seemingly pleased to have Jaehyun all over him anyway.

“Let’s stay like this for a while.” Jaehyun started, after he’d discarded the condom somewhere on the floor (he’d deal with that in the morning) and they’d fully come down from their high. He’d covered them both with the duvet without bothering to wipe them down. Jaehyun just wanted to be warm by Yuta’s side, to bury his face into the sweaty head, memorise his smell and the shape of his body against Jaehyun’s bulkier one.

“Even if we’re all sticky?” Yuta giggled as he tucked his head under the other’s chin.

“Even if we’re all sticky.”

—

The night hadn’t ended there, they’d taken a short break to cuddle before Jaehyun was ready to go again and Yuta was just as eager to have the taller male inside him again, relishing Jaehyun’s strength as he pounded into the slighter man from behind, this time.

Yuta was understandably beat, so the next morning when Jaehyun woke up to the Japanese man still snoring on the other side of the bed, he fondly smiled, gently ruffling the short locks of brown hair before pressing a kiss on top of Yuta’s head.

He quietly climbed down the bed, muscles protesting but not a single hint of regret in him as he pattered into the bathroom and then towards his bag to pull out a clean change of clothes. He dressed up in haste, not wanting Yuta to wake up before he left, making sure that the hotel door was properly locked before making his way to the nearby bakery he saw the day before. He remembered seeing apple pies in the display window, and he knew Yuta loved to have them with his morning coffee.

Jaehyun practically ran his way to and back from the bakery, his aching muscles pushed to the back of his mind. He did, of course consider that Yuta would already be awake when he got back to their room, he did get held up on the morning queue, but the last thing he expected was to come back to Yuta’s heartbreaking sobs, his small body shaking with the force of his grief under the duvet. He was faced away from the door but he definitely heard it open because Jaehyun saw his shoulders stiffen before he turned to face the younger man.

Jaehyun didn’t wait for the other to get his bearings because he was taking large strides towards the bed, depositing their breakfast on the night table and enveloping Yuta in an embrace. They stayed in that position for a while, Yuta’s sobs had quieted down to sniffles, his fingers drumming on the jacket Jaehyun was still wearing. They said nothing, Jaehyun not wanting to rush Yuta when he looked so distraught.

“I’m sorry, I ruined our ‘morning after’” The older man finally broke the silence, his voice still scratchy with sleep.

“You didn’t ruin anything. Why were you crying?”

“I thought you’d left. I know you wouldn’t do that, I was just being too emotional.”

“It’s perfectly fine to be emotional. You’re okay.” Jaehyun rubbed his hand over Yuta’s bare arm (the hoodie had been too filthy to keep on) comforting the other in the few ways he knew how.

“I got you coffee and apple pie, love. Do you want to wash up first?” Yuta looked up at him in wonder, eyes big and still wet from the tears he’d just shed. Jaehyun hadn’t understood what that look meant then, but he knew that something significant had taken place right at the moment.

—

On their third day, they’d returned to the walkway by the canal, eager to see more of the personalised ice sculptures by the locals; Yuta in particular was enamoured by them, explaining that each work had a story behind them, and to him, it was a reminder that he wasn’t alone in his struggles. Jaehyun felt his emotions get the better of him at those words, so he rubbed his nose in an effort to keep the tears at bay.

The sun had completely set by the time they reached a series of branching maze-like alleys made with packed snow, and there were less people crowding the space in this area compared to the canal. Jaehyun thought this was the perfect place and time to be bold.

“Yuta.” The shorter man looked up to him from where he was crouched in front of little snow Totoros lit up beautifully.

“Yes?”

“Come here please,” Yuta frowned at his tone, sensing that this wasn’t going in the direction of their usual banters. The older male stood up, making his way towards Jaehyun with unhurried steps.

“Yuta,” Jaehyun called out again, once Yuta was within his reach, pulling the other by his bare hand, “Why don’t you come with me? To Seoul?” Yuta opened his mouth at the suggestion, but no words came out. His eyes looked almost unrealistically huge in disbelief, Jaehyun would’ve laughed if it didn’t feel like his heart was in his throat.

“You…you’re not joking?” The shorter man finally voiced out, meek and unsure.

“I’m serious, I want you to come with me. I want you Yuta.”

“But, what am I supposed to do in Seoul? My life is here.”

“Don’t you want to be with me?” Jaehyun heard his own voice break, not expecting Yuta’s hesitance. It was stupid of him to think that this was just like one of their trips where being spontaneous was enough.

He knew he couldn’t just uproot Yuta from where he’d comfortably built his world, but he wanted to hope, because he knew Yuta felt the same strong pull he did.

“I do, Jaehyun. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to be with you.” Tears started to gather in Yuta’s round eyes as he squeezed Jaehyun’s equally cold hands, “but I don’t want to be a burden, I want to be your equal.”

“It doesn’t matter Yuta, I’ll take care of you, I _want_ to take care of you. Leave him, come with me.” Jaehyun, eyes starting to blur from his own tears, reached into his pocket, taking out his phone and unlocking it. Yuta looked between him and the phone in confusion before Jaehyun thrust the phone in his hands. The smaller man had to squint as he looked at the screen, struggling with the English words before his eyes finally zeroed in on the crucial details.

It was a one way ticket to Seoul. For Yuta. On the same flight as Jaehyun, in two days’ time.

Jaehyun saw the moment Yuta’s hands tightened around his phone, bringing it close to his chest. Yuta’s other hand was still in Jaehyun’s, but it had gone slack.

“Jaehyun, I don’t know…”

“You have two days to think about it. Please Yuta.” Jaehyun brought a hand up to gentle caress Yuta’s cheek that had gone red from the cold. The first tears had slid down the same cheek, and he brushed it away softly, “do it for us.”

—

It was his birthday the day after the returned to Sapporo. It was also Valentines day, so there were enough heart decorations, couple discounts and actual couples in the streets that Jaehyun would rather just avoid going out altogether. He was looking forward to spending this day with Yuta, but since he hadn’t heard from the other since they parted ways at the station, he decided he was just going to wallow in his misery and start packing for his flight the next day.

Jaehyun hadn’t realised he bought too many things until he was struggling to fit them in his medium sized suitcase. When he first flew into Sapporo, the suitcase had been practically empty; three pairs of jeans, five sweaters, six pairs of underwear and four pairs of socks, he had the same jacket on himself and the same pair of boots on his feet. Somehow, he felt like his current packing woes mirrored his emotional turmoil.

His life, before Yuta, was uncomplicated. It was a combination of a lot of the same, familiar things, nothing too exciting, always sure and safe. Somehow, he knew he lost part of himself along the way. At first he thought it had been home sickness, but he got past that and met friends like Johnny and Mark, who were in the same boat. But the sense of emptiness persisted, and he’d almost forgotten what it was like to laugh from your belly, and to give your all to something that was uncertain.

Yuta gave all that back to him, the sense of adventure, the thrill of the unknown and the passion for love. His heart ached at the thought that he might be losing the one person that made him feel like Jaehyun again.

But with little to nothing to hold on to, Jaehyun could only put his faith in Yuta. He glanced at the digital clock on the night table, it was almost eight in the evening but he hadn’t even had lunch yet, let alone a proper dinner, with no appetite for food or anything other than a cup of coffee. How did one cope with something like this? Jaehyun wondered with a heavy heart.

He was sitting on top of his suitcase in an effort to zip it close when a knock on the door startled him out of his stupor. Jaehyun nearly broke his toe on the foot of the coffee table in his rush to open the door, already knowing who was behind it.

To say that he was relieved was an understatement, it felt as if his soul ascended to heaven at the sight of the man who had kept his thoughts occupied for the entire day (longer than that if Jaehyun was really counting) only to be do a double take after he’d taken a good long look. He felt the colour drain from his face, cold settling in his stomach.

Yuta stood at the door, his usual puffy bomber jacket and knit hat on. But what stood out was the nasty looking bruise decorating one side of his face, a sickly combination of red and purple that covered the lower half of his cheek and part of his jaw. His bottom lip was split on the same side, dried blood still clinging onto the cracks of his lips.

It looked like a result of a brutal punch that Yuta didn’t see coming; Jaehyun felt his nails bite at the tender skin of his palms with how tight he was clenching his first. The shorter man likely saw this, because he reached out to wrap his hands around Jaehyun’s, coaxing them open.

No words were exchanged between them, Yuta simply stepped into Jaehyun’s arms, as if he’d already ran out of excuses to make and tears to shed. Jaehyun was quick to wrap his arms around the other, careful not to apply too much pressure in case he had more bruises under his thick clothes. Jaehyun knew something was up, _that_ _man_ had never hurt Yuta where it was easily visible before, something had provoked him, and Jaehyun had the slightest inkling.

Jaehyun led them to the couch, pushing the empty paper bags down to the floor to make space for them. He held Yuta for a good hour, carding his long fingers through the short hair as the other rested against his chest, fingers playing with the strings of Jaehyun’s hoodie.

“Happy birthday…I brought you chocolates. I know you hate sweets so I got really bitter ones.” Yuta spoke for the first time that night, fishing for the chocolates from his pocket and gingerly handing Jaehyun four small individually wrapped bars of dark chocolate with strawberry filling, “Isn’t this so cliché?” The older man added playfully, watching as Jaehyun unwrapped one and popped the entire thing in his mouth.

“Yuta, I’m leaving tomorrow…” Jaehyun spoke around the chocolate in his mouth, it was a understandably cold and hard, having been kept in Yuta’s jacket's pocket in while the other was out in subzero temperatures, “have you thought about my offer?”

He was answered by silence, and Jaehyun was about to repeat his words in case Yuta didn’t catch them the first time when the older man finally addressed the elephant in the room.

“Jae, you told me once that you trust me…”

“Yes?”

“Then please trust that I’ll make the right decision this time.”

“Yuta, this isn’t the time to be cryptic—“

“Jaehyun, please?”

Jaehyun didn’t say anything anymore after that, not with how Yuta looked at him with a yearning that was untainted by the bruise his face. Jaehyun knew from then on, that he would always associate the taste of bitter chocolate to the feeling of helpless adoration.

—

He watched the queue for the security gradually build over the last hour. Jaehyun had been standing there the entire time, not risking to move from his place in case Yuta showed up and was unable to find him. He recalled their last night together over and over, hoping he hadn’t given the other wrong information about their meeting place.

Deep inside, he knew he hadn’t. Jaehyun remembered repeating them at least three times to Yuta; _‘the bookshop in front of the entrance to security at seven in the morning’_. It was eight now, and their flight was supposed to leave at nine thirty.

It was fine, Jaehyun had enough time to wait for Yuta, it didn’t matter that the other hadn’t returned any of his messages, he was probably busy getting ready to leave with Jaehyun. That was what Jaehyun convinced himself at least, as he glanced at his wristwatch for what felt like the hundredth time.

Jaehyun had checked his suitcase in as soon as he came, so there was no rush; he could wait for Yuta up to the very last minute, he decided that was what he was going to do. If Yuta didn’t show for another half an hour, he was going to walk out of this airport and personally storm the travel agency’s office to get the older man’s address. Yuta’s injuries the night before had been different and just remembering them made Jaehyun feel sick. There was no way in hell he was leaving without making sure Yuta was okay.

Jaehyun was flooded with relief however when minutes later, his phone started vibrating in his pocket, Yuta’s name flashing across the screen.

“Yuta? Are you okay? Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you here.” Jaehyun was aware that he was speaking too fast and too loud but he didn’t have it in him to care right now.

_“Go into security already, you won’t have enough time.”_

“Yuta where are you?”

_“Jaehyun, listen to me, go on that plane. Don’t turn back or do anything stupid.”_

“What are you talking about? Are you really staying with that bastard?!” There was no helping the way Jaehyun’s voice cracked, his emotions running high.

_“I can’t leave right now Jae. But I promise you, and you gotta trust me, that everything’s going to be alright.”_ Jaehyun heard a hiccup through the line and realised that Yuta was crying, but he was doing very well at keeping his voice steady, _“I promise, you’ll have me back. Just, go on that plane, and believe in me.”_

“Yuta…” Jaehyun felt the moment all the fight in him bled away into the realisation that he could turn back at this moment but it would change nothing, Yuta still wouldn’t go with him.

_“I never told you, but Jaehyun…I love you, so so much it’s unbearable…”_ a pause before Yuta’s voice, gentle and sweet, continued, _“It was only three weeks but it was the happiest I’ve felt in my entire life. Thank you, and I love you Jaehyun.”_

Before Jaehyun could get a word out, before he could tell Yuta that he felt the same way, and to _'please just come with me',_ the line went dead.

Jaehyun knew he must be crying because there were people sneaking glances in his direction, so he wiped his eyes hastily with his sleeve, rubbing his face to get rid of the redness that he was sure had started to bloom in his cheeks and around his eyes in his effort to hold back the flood.

After finally getting himself together, Jaehyun grabbed the small cabin size suitcase by the handle, wheeling it towards security, Yuta’s last words still ringing in his ears.

It had been exactly four months and two weeks since Jaehyun returned to Seoul, shattered with a love that didn’t have a chance to flourish. He hadn’t been the same, but he had been making progress.

The first few weeks were the worst; Mark and Johnny had to literally break into his apartment to make sure he was still alive, after he’d filed an indefinite leave from work after coming in for just a day. Joke’s on them because Jaehyun had just been busy cooking up extravagant dishes to distract himself from the awful feeling that reared every time he had a moment of silence to himself. He had the music box Yuta gave him on his shelf in his bedroom but he hadn’t had the courage to play it. He had almost forgotten how it sounded like.

There were pictures of Yuta he printed out scattered on the coffee table in the living room, he’d kept them there because they reminded him that Yuta hadn’t been a figment of his imagination, that he really existed and he loved Jaehyun unconditionally, despite how things ended in Sapporo. Was it really the end though? Jaehyun always found himself asking. For now, there was no way for him to know.

Days after he’d arrived in Seoul, Jaehyun tried contacting Yuta but his number was already inactive. He reached out to the travel agency only to be disappointed yet again because Yuta apparently quit the day after they got back from Otaru, on the same day Yuta delivered those chocolates to him in his hotel room. It was kind of stupid of him to forget to give Yuta his email address or contact number in Seoul.

He’d thought about flying back to Sapporo, but if Yuta had gone through all that trouble to disappear, there was a chance he wasn’t going to find the older male in the same place.

Jaehyun had gone back to work after he realised that moping around would do him no real good. His team (and Johnny and Mark mostly) were ecstatic to have him again, probably relieved to have one more person to split the workload with. The transition wasn’t easy, but nothing ever was, and before he knew it, Jaehyun had gone back to how things were before he won that draw ticket to Hokkaido.

On the fourth month without Yuta, Jaehyun carefully picked up the pictures from the coffee table, clearing the space for the first time in four months so he could use it for something other than a makeshift picture board. He also played the music box from his shelf, finally remembering that it played When You Wish Upon a Star. It sounded exactly as it did back then, when they listened to it cheek to cheek with the music box between them. Whenever Jaehyun would close his eyes, he would picture himself back in the museum and it was as if he could almost smell the scent of timber and Yuta’s light perfume, almost feel Yuta’s smaller fingers as they guided his face closer. Before, the memory brought a kind of longing that bordered on painful, but now he felt only acceptance.

He’d told Johnny the whole story, and what the taller male said had stuck with Jaehyun since,

_“If Yuta is as strong as you describe him to be, then I’m sure he’s alright. Jaehyun, there’s only so much you can do, at the end of the day only Yuta can save himself.”_

He wasn’t wrong, Jaehyun tried so hard to be the hero he thought Yuta needed, that he overlooked the small efforts Yuta had started to make, they were baby steps but nonetheless significant.

And, he believed in Yuta; after he’d gotten over the initial heartbreak, it dawned onto him that perhaps the reason he hadn’t fully let go of the other was because somewhere he was still hoping that Yuta will find his way back to him.

Four months and two weeks later, Jaehyun was still very much in love, but he didn’t let his love cripple him anymore, instead Jaehyun made it his driving force to keep going, at least until he knew what to do next.

Jaehyun took a deep breath, capping his camera lens as he finished with his last shoot for the day. Now it was time he got back to the office to clear whatever paperwork he left from the day before. Jaehyun opted to take a taxi back to Gangnam, not wanting to bother with the subway when he was lugging around at least five kilos of camera equipment and it was a sweltering thirty five degrees outside.

There was a small coffee shop that just opened right under their office, interestingly they sold apple pie, and a good cup of iced coffee that he tried on multiple occasions. He was thinking of passing by for one before going back to the office but quickly discarded the thought after seeing the amount of people crowding the small area (lunch crowd, the absolute worst) and went straight to his desk once he reached their floor.

“Hey, Johnny asked that you meet him downstairs at the coffee shop.” Mark poked his head over the division between their desks once Jaehyun had settled in his chair, almost giving the latter heart failure. There were only two of them left in the office, the rest having already gone out to take their lunch.

“I didn’t get any texts from him.” Jaehyun frowned, slightly annoyed because 1) he didn’t like being squeezed into crowded places especially not for something as trivial as coffee shop rate bagel and 2) Johnny could’ve seriously just sent him a message, then he wouldn’t have bothered to come all the way up to their office and then back down to the coffee shop.

“Dunno man, he just asked me to pass the massage when you come back. He’s been there for like an hour.” Mark grumbled in the exaggerated way only he could pull off, dropping back in his seat.

“Why would he stay there for an entire hour? He could’ve just called me or something.” Mark only gave him a hum of acknowledgement in response and Jaehyun sighed in defeat, putting away the paperwork he’d only just pulled out from his drawers, “fine, I’m going down. Is there anything you want?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Jaehyun was almost out of the door when Mark called after him, “And Jae? All the best man.”

Jaehyun gave him a look but Mark hardly ever made sense anyway so he just brushed off his words and headed down to the coffee shop. Looking for Johnny was like looking for a needle in a haystack in the battlefield that was the coffee shop; there were too many people, most of which were standing up from the lack of seats so even with Johnny’s impressive height, finding him was a challenge with Jaehyun’s limited view.

A hand waving enthusiastically from the other end of the room got Jaehyun’s attention however, the action was so Johnny-like that there was no mistaking it. How Johnny even saw him come in through the throng of people was a miracle he badly needed right now. He made his way towards his friend, not noticing the man sitting across Johnny, the latter was so big Jaehyun only noticed they had company when he was just a foot away.

And it was the last person he expected to see in a crowded cafe in the heart of Seoul’s business district.

It was _him_ , but with longer hair, still dyed the same shade of honey brown and tied back in a little ponytail; the excessive number of earrings dangling from his ears, the full lips that puckered into a small pout when he wasn’t rivalling the sun with his smile.

Yuta looked just as beautiful as the first day he met him. This time however, there were no marks on his face, in fact, his cheeks looked a little bit fuller, and there was a healthy glow to his skin. He was wearing a t-shirt with a low collar, showcasing the unmarred neck where at least two chain necklaces hung from.

This was the same man he left behind in Sapporo, but at the same time he wasn’t; he looked healthier, happier. This was the Yuta underneath all his complexities,this was Jaehyun’s Yuta.

“Okay I guess this is where I’ll be excusing myself.” Johnny smiled, a genuine one directed first at Jaehyun and then to their shorter guest, “it was nice meeting you Yuta, you’re as funny and cute as Jaehyun made you out to be.” He finished with a wink that elicited a blush from the now long-haired man.

“Thank you for your help Johnny.” Yuta said kindly to Johnny’s retreating figure, and the latter gave a salute in response. Jaehyun felt weak in the knees at the sound of Yuta’s soft, melodic voice.

Jaehyun took a measured breath after realising he’d been shaking, before he approached the other with careful steps, Yuta never once breaking eye contact with him, even as he stood from his chair with the intent to meet Jaehyun halfway. He looked his real height for once without the massive winter boots he used to wear in Hokkaido, a pair of worn, black converse in their place.

“Jaehyun,” He sounded unsure, but the tentative smile he had on his small face didn’t falter even when Jaehyun’s expression remained stiff. He couldn’t help it, he was still convinced that he’d wake up to find this to be another dream, much like the ones he’d had over the last months. 

“I’m sorry it took so long. I hope you haven’t forgotten about me completely yet?”

“Never, even if I tried.” Yuta was about to say something else but Jaehyun practically tackled him, almost toppling them down. Yuta, who’d been startled at first, eventually melted into the embrace, wrapping his arms around Jaehyun’s neck like he did when they were in Hokkaido, except now without the thick down jackets in between them.

“Oh Jae, I was so scared that I wasn’t gonna find you.” He whispered against Jaehyun’s neck. The latter held Yuta tighter at the words.

“Took you long enough.” He chided, unable to hide the relief from his voice. Yuta slowly moved away, pulling Jaehyun to sit on the empty chair beside his. Only now did he notice the slice of half eaten apple pie on the table.

Jaehyun eventually understood why Yuta had sat him down when the latter reached out to swipe at his cheeks; he hadn’t realised that they were wet with tears. Remorseful, Yuta pulled him close to lay Jaehyun's head against his chest, letting Jaehyun feel the pitter-patter of his heart. The younger man let out a strangled sob, unable to believe that Yuta was really here, his skin solid and warm under Jaehyun’s touch.

“Shh, I’m so sorry my love. I didn’t want to hurt you but there were things I had to do before I could follow you here.” Yuta carded his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair for every whimper from the younger man.

“Why didn’t you try to contact me? Where did you disappear to?”

“I left Hokkaido,” Jaehyun looked up to see the smallest of smiles on Yuta’s beautiful face, “gone back to Osaka and made amends with my family. My father is still a little upset with me but it’s a start, right?” there was a sigh before he continued, “And I left Akihito…I think that was the biggest step forward so far. I didn’t want him to weaken my resolve any way so I changed numbers, quit the job he got me, cut ties with our common friends, if you'd call them that.”

“A friend from the agency gave me a contact for a job in Seoul, it’s a translator job, but I didn’t have the credentials for it, I didn’t even have a proper proficiency test for my Korean. So it took me a while before I was ready to move.” Jaehyun listened attentively to every detail, feeling pride bloom in his chest with how far Yuta had gone even without his help.

From self pitying to doing his best to be happy. Johnny was right, Yuta was his own saviour, Jaehyun had been there to give him the right push, but this was all his own hard work.

“But how did you find me?”

“Ah, I got your office address from the agency’s database. It was the address used for the original booking for your tour, but I didn’t get your email and contact number in Seoul. So I went to your office a few times right after I moved here, but you were always out on some location shoot. I would hang around the reception for a few hours but I always leave when your receptionist starts giving me the stink eye…” He giggled softly, and Jaehyun was reminded of how much the loved the sound of it, “and then Johnny saw me today, said I looked familiar. Something about pictures on the coffee table?”

Jaehyun felt his face burn at the words, knowing full well what Johnny had been referring to.

“so he asked me to accompany him here, where we finally connected the dots and I realised he’s your friend! But I really am very sorry Jae, I didn’t mean to make you wait for so long. I was actually afraid that you’ve already moved on.” Yuta’s face fell as he continued, his fingers now tracing circles on Jaehyun’s temple.

“You don’t have to be sorry, I never want you to be sorry for doing something this incredible. You’re amazing.”

“You keep saying I’m amazing, but I always make you cry.”

“I would cry you an entire ocean Yuta, just for you.” Jaehyun reached up to take Yuta’s hand in his, recalling the way their fingers fit perfectly between each other. Yuta looked up at him from under his long lashes, eyes so full of hope and _love,_ “you also didn’t give me a chance to say this back last time. I love you, even if you drive me crazy."

Gently, Jaehyun closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against Yuta’s, soft and sweet like the apple pie that didn’t taste anything like the one from Hokkaido. Yuta hummed into the kiss, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth while his eyes fluttered shut in a way that Jaehyun will remember for a long time to come.

"Thank you for trusting me, Jae."

Perhaps this was what they meant when they said that it only took a single moment to know you’d found forever. And it didn’t matter one bit that his moment had to take place in a cramped coffee shop in Gangnam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was one long ride. I hope you enjoyed it! Comments are deeply appreciated!
> 
> I might work on another YuJae/JaeYu AU again soon but at this point, I'll focus on finishing my ongoing one first.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Here's to their couple photoshoot next week ^^/
> 
> ps. I just made a twitter account recently, more for sharing my thoughts about YJ and the fics I plan to write in the future. You can follow it for updates on my upcoming works: @Hibxxx1

**Author's Note:**

> So how did you guys find it? I tried to incorporate a lot of my experience from my Japan trips into this fic, I hope you enjoyed those parts. I used a lot of Japanese words that couldn't really be translated to English without losing their meaning, I hope that didn't take so much away from the reading experience. 
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think in the comments, I appreciate reading them :)


End file.
